Globo-enteritus: The Facts

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Today I am suffering from a severe case of globo-enteritus.

 

I am the first person in the whole world to ever be diagnosed with this condition…and yes for those of you wondering, it is a self-diagnosis…but that makes it none the less valid I assure you.

 

Although you may never have heard of globo-enteritus, I have a sneaking suspicion that some of you may have displayed symptoms of this at one time or another, particularly if you have children.

 

Although it can occur at anytime during the year, it is more common and the symptoms more pronounced around birthdays.

 

You see, there is a condition called ‘globophobia,’ which is the fear of balloons.

 

I don’t have that.

 

I have globo-enteritus.  It means that the balloons that I was so keen to blow up for Foghorn’s birthday yesterday, will now give me the shits for the next 2-6 days, as the children continue to tap, and kick and throw them around, and bash one another around the heads with them at any given opportunity.

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I can’t be the only one who gets driven absolutely batty by these bloody things can I?  Tell me, do you suffer from globo-enteritus too, or am I just being a grumpy mole?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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