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I quote celebrities like they’re my friends.

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I knew something wasn’t right with Kris and Danni months ago. They just weren’t themselves. Whenever we’d have coffee there was this awkward silence between them. (By having coffee I mean at the same café, and yes usually at different tables). And when they did communicate (by Twitter) it wasn’t with loving words like they used to. Sad to say, but I saw it coming.


Danni and I go way back – I’ve been friendly with her, well known her, okay stalking her, since her YTT (Young Talent Time) days. So of course we’re tight. And this is where the problem lies. I quote and talk about celebrities like they’re my friends. It’s beginning to drive my non-celebrity friends crazy.


As a good friend of mine Mehran Farhat said “The other day someone called me delusional, I nearly fell off my unicorn!” I ride my unicorn often. I’ve known Mehran for a few years now. We met through Tori. Or “T” as she likes to be called. He’s her gay husband and absolutely adores her kids Liam, Stella and Hattie. I always look forward to our catch-ups and love seeing all the new vintage stock she’s bought for her store in LA. I’m a bit worried about “T” though – she’s been looking a bit frazzled and tired with this pregnancy – baby number 4!


See this is what I do. “T” (Tori Spelling) and Mehran are weaved into my normal, daily conversations that you would swear I was talking about my BFF.

Why am I concerned about these people? I’m not sure. But I do know that I invest so much of my time following them, through their good times and bad, that it would be rude to suddenly cut them off. Don’t you agree?

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Take Lourdes for example, or Lola as I like to affectionately call her. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. I’ve watched her grow into the most gorgeous and stylish young woman. She and her mum Madonna have started a clothing range aptly named Material Girl. I’ve practically grown up with her mother so to me she’s just part of my celebrity family. So special is she to me that Lola is one of my secret girl’s names and naturally I named my poodle Rocco (after Lola’s brother).


Don’t get me wrong – just as I’m choosy with my real life friends – I’m also picky with which celebs I care about.  Some I have a nostalgic attachment to. Madonna, I will always care about you. I remember taping your songs on cassettes from the radio, or staying up late to watch the premiere of your music videos. I was so young when Like a Virgin (1984) came out, that I was totally confused about what a virgin was and what that had to do with a lion in Venice.


Dear George (Michael). You provided many backing tracks to my life. And I must admit, inspired my love for blonde tips and fluoro midriff t-shirts.


Prince. You and I had a moment many years ago at the Metro. A crowded room, stolen glances, your burly bodyguard.


Others like the Housewives of NY, NJ or OC are new friends. Being a housewife myself I thought we’d have a lot in common. You know, share tips on child rearing, exchange recipes and moan about all the washing. But…no…these housewives do no housework, have drivers, personal chefs and spend $25,000 on a pair of sunglasses. I do all the housework, use public transport, cook for family and buy fake Ray Bans from Bali.


You can tell a lot about a person by who they follow on Twitter. Here’s just a little sample of my friends…Bethenny Frankel, Scott Baio, Alyssa Milano, Soleil Moon Frye (Punky Brewster), Dolce and Gabbana, Simon Le Bon, Dannii Minogue, Nicole Richie, Oprah Winfrey, George Michael, Barack Obama, Nicole Ritchie…and the list goes on. What does this say about me? That I’m a celebrity obsessed child of the 80’s, fashion loving woman that follows a couple of non-celebrities to not look like a total teenager. Oh, I also follow Kevin Rudd, but only since he started using his rap name – K Rudd. 

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