Lady Gaga has opened up and revealed what she describes as her deepest secret. The singer shared with her fans that she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder stemming from her rape at the age of 19.
The personal revelation was made by the 30 year old during an interview on NBC’s Today show on Monday. The segment showed Gaga visiting a center for homeless LGBT youth in New York. In the clip she can be seen telling the teens that she struggles with her mental illness every day and often uses meditation to cope.
Lady Gaga published an open letter about how mental illness affects her life on a “daily” basis.
— xoxo, Joanne (@ladygaga) December 5, 2016
The personal letter was published on the website for her Born This Way Foundation on Tuesday.
“It is a daily effort for me, even during this album cycle, to regulate my nervous system so that I don’t panic over circumstances that to many would seem like normal life situations,” she wrote. “Examples are leaving the house or being touched by strangers who simply want to share their enthusiasm for my music.”
Her honest and raw letter says that her PTSD is also triggered by memories associated from her past years on tour “when my needs and requests for balance were being ignored.”
She wrote, “I was overworked and not taken seriously when I shared my pain and concern that something was wrong. I ultimately ended up injured on the ‘Born This Way Ball.’ That moment and the memory of it has changed my life forever. The experience of performing night after night in mental and physical pain ingrained in me a trauma that I relive when I see or hear things that remind me of those days.”
Gaga explained that as a result of PTSD she is often left with a blank and vacant stare as she feels a dissociation from her body.
“My body is in one place and my mind in another,” she explained. “It’s like the panic accelerator in my mind gets stuck and I am paralyzed with fear.”
It’s harder to do my job. It’s harder to do simple things like take a shower. Everything has become harder,” she wrote.
Additionally, when I am unable to regulate my anxiety, it can result in somatization, which is pain in the body caused by an inability to express my emotional pain in words,” she said.
Gaga suffered in silence for five year before deciding to go public with her struggles. She wants people to be aware that PTSD affects not just people in combat but “all kinds of people, including our youth.”
Along with daily meditation, Gaga says it’s kind words that are her best medicine.
“Kind words…positive words…words that help people who feel ashamed of an invisible illness to overcome their shame and feel free,” she wrote. “This is how I and we can begin to heal. I am starting today, because secrets keep you sick. And I don’t want to keep this secret anymore.”
Photos: Twitter and Google images