Lisa Kudrow Says Having Only One Child Was A Gift To Her Son
Mummy guilt is something women deal with from the very first moment they find out they’re pregnant. Once those two lines appear on your pregnancy test the stress begins! Did I have too much alcohol? Have I been taking my vitamins? Why did I have sushi for lunch?!
It’s never ending and frankly it’s exhausting! Mother’s feel guilt for all sorts of reasons. Not feeding their children enough fruit. Letting them stay up too late. Not enrolling them in piano class. Buying them too many toys. Not buying them enough toys. I’m telling you- it really does our head in!
Then there’s the guilt of how many children we actually have! Have I got too many kids, not enough kids. Should I have one more- another girl – another boy to give little Jack a brother. And of course mums of singletons have their very own guilt which comes to them from every direction. These mums may only be able to have one child, or perhaps they’ve chosen to not have more children- whatever the reason, it’s none of our business. And yet we ask them all the time. “Are you planning any more children? Don’t you think Sally should have a sibling? Go on, try for one more!” The questions only really stop once the child reaches a certain age or the mum hits menopause!
One celebrity mum however has zero guilt about her choice to have the one child. Friend’s actress Lisa Kudrow is mum to 18-year-old Julian Murray Stern and says she wouldn’t change things for the world!
In fact during an interview recently, Kudrow,53 said she saw it as a gift to her son, to be able to let him grow up as an only child. The actress says that from a very young age he expressed his desire for no siblings.
“He made it clear from the moment he could speak that he didn’t want a brother or sister and it just worked out that way anyway—but to this day, he’ll say, ‘Thank you,’” she said.
Whatever Kudrow’s reasons may be on deciding not to have any more children it’s great to see a mum who feels 100% okay about her parenting decisions. It looks and sounds like everyone is well adjusted and happy with the status quo.
Generally the perception of children who grow up without siblings is that they are spoiled lonely, and maladjusted. However, Toni Falbo, a professor of educational psychology and sociology at the University of Texas in Austin has been able to debunk that myth.
Falbo, an only child herself and the mother of one, began investigating the only-child experience in the 1970s, both in the U.S. and in China using the experience of tens of thousands of subjects.
Twenty-five years ago, she and colleague Denise Polit conducted a research project of 115 studies of only children from 1925 onward that considered developmental outcomes of adjustment, character, sociability, achievement and intelligence. The studies included children from all class and race.
The conclusion was that singletons aren’t very different from other kids. In fact they, along with firstborns and people who have only one sibling, score higher in measures of intelligence and achievement. There’s been no research done that can demonstrate any truth behind the stereotype of the only child as being selfish or maladjusted. They found that the personalities of only children were indistinguishable from their peers with siblings.
Great news for any mum of a singleton who may be feeling pangs of guilt on their choice or circumstance leading to them having just one child. It’s all good! There is no right or wrong answer. There is no perfect number of children you should have. It is your choice and whatever it is, it’s the perfect one for you!