What to do when you fail your Own 30 Day Sex Challenge:
Option 1: Don’t tell a soul and pretend you are the most awesome Challenger ever.
Option 2: Tell everyone and wait for them all to laugh in your face.
I’m going with Option 2.
3 Days into my own 30 Day Sex Challenge, Pal and I had a drama.
I like to call it: The one where my husband dropped a remote control on my foot and all hell broke loose.
I could tell you that it really hurt my toe, so I may have screamed something along the lines of “That F*CKING hurt!!!” over and over, and I could tell you that Pal took it personally.
I could tell you that he had an awful day with work, and that I exacerbated said awful day by being a lazy housewife and mother and making him look after the children when he got home.
Instead I’m going to tell you that after all of that Pal and I were emotionally exhausted and made the conscious decision that challenge or no challenge, angry sex is dangerous for all involved.
And by conscious decision I mean we ignored each other all night, went to bed at different times and fell asleep the moment our heads hit the pillow.
So on Day 5, we are 4/5 on the challenge. The rest of this week has been sabotaged by my cycle – which has not gotten the memo – either about the Challenge or the fact that it’s unnecessary, as there will be no more babies.
Don’t worry, though. We’ve been making out. I even have proof.
So, this all means we’ve had sex 4 times (so far) this month. Which is about four times the amount of sex we have in any given month. So I figure #hornyhippo is still onto a winner.
This is THE horny hippo. She is obviously the mascot for this challenge.Let’s call her Petunia. Because the name Daisy is busy right now
More importantly, even though we are in the first week, both Pal and I are noticing the role sex plays in our relationship, whether we are doing it or not.
We’ve also discovered we have an emotional need in common.
I like to have help stacking the dishwasher.
Pal likes to have help getting the kids ready for bed and hates it when I take my glass of wine, my laptop, my iPhone and my textbook to the front porch and call tweeting “studying”.
Now, as I’m writing this, I realise that a post about a 30 Day Sex Challenge poses the problem of how much is too much to share.
Even at the height of my oversharing tendencies I’m reluctant to share details of my sex life. Even with my best friend.
So here’s all you need to know:
Pal is good. Real good.
If I hadn’t met and eventually bedded Pal I may never have reached orgasm. Ever. You read that right. Now read it again and be in awe of the man.
Pal’s prowess makes the idea of heading to the bedroom every night more than a little enticing. Talking to some other women taking the challenge, they’ve noted a similar experience.
Even if they are tired, sore, OVER IT – they go to the bedroom and think “all right, well, here we go”. And you’re not going to believe this…
Then they ENJOY it.
True story, as told to me by My Bestie Amelia my anonymous sources.
I have to admit, Pal and I are crap at doing the workbook and much better at call and answer across the house:
“Hon! Have you thought about the Challenge and how it’s making you feel?”
“Care to elaborate?”
“Yeah. Real good.”
Great, thanks Pal.
Now, here’s a crazy little tidbit for you:
Pal and I were filling out the Emotional Needs Questionnaire and there is a question about sex, how much you need, how much you think you’re getting, how much you’d like it and whether your partner is meeting your needs as well as they might.
Pal wrote that his need for sex was low to moderate.
I marked that my need for sex rated fairly high.
Then we BOTH said that a preferable amount of sex would be 3-4 times per week.
So riddle me this: If I think 3-4 times a week is high, and Pal thinks 3-4 times a week is low to moderate, why were we pre-Challenge only having sex 3-4 times a Financial Quarter?
I believe, my friends, the issue is COMMUNICATION.
More on that next week.
Today I’m going to leave you with a question brought up via email recently:
For a 30 Day Sex Challenge, or – not for the faint hearted – 365 nights (reading this book, it’s amazing!), is a Quickie preferable to a Sex Marathon? Does a Quickie really serve the purpose of a challenge designed to reconnect partners intimately, or is the act of sex every night enough to induce emotional intimacy above the covers?
Also on The Billboard by Daisy: