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Are Your Negative Thoughts Controlling Your Life?

Have you ever noticed how much of everything we see, hear and say is of a negative nature?

It isn’t surprising that we see things in a predominantly negative way when we are mostly surrounded by news stories of doom and gloom. If watching the news programs isn’t in itself enough exposure to negative happenings there is also social media where people get the opportunity to voice their thoughts and opinions both good and bad as things happen.

With the exposure we give ourselves to such negativity it become habit to let negative thoughts creep into our minds and when something happens to us it seems like we are programmed to go to the negative thoughts first.
Below are a number of ways we allow negative thoughts to be a part of our lives and some ideas on how to be aware of them and let them go.


Whether you are the one arguing or you are surrounded by arguments it will bring a negative atmosphere into your life. One of the best ways of overcoming this is to learn the skills of clean communication or fighting fairly.


Are you plagued by everything that ‘could’ go wrong? Whether it is in regards to health, family, work, money etc. The truth is over 90% of our fears or the things we worry ‘might’ happen never actually eventuate. Take a moment to consider throughout your life what the evidence actually proves, what portion of what you are worrying about actual happens?


This is one that often comes up during arguments. Rather than taking responsibility for our own actions we often place the blame on others. The problem is often not the other person’s actions but rather our own reaction to them. Consider whether you start phrases with ‘you’ or ‘I’ in relation to something that has happened to establish whether this is something you are guilty of doing.


Once again this is often a matter of the mind playing ‘fear’ tricks on you. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have and what others have that you don’t be grateful for what you do have in your life. Don’t think you have anything to be grateful for? Start writing a list and it will probably surprise you all the things you do come up with.


If you expect people to disappoint you or let you down chances are that is exactly what will happen. If someone has disappointed you in the past look at what it is you can learn from that experience.

If you look at the diagram above you will notice that the presents of predominantly negative thoughts in our lives such as the ones I’ve spoken about above, keeps us what I like to call ‘below the line’ or thinking from a victim perspective. When you live your life like this you also tend to have lower self-esteem. In order to take back control of your life and live in a more positive frame of mind you need to take effective action towards the type of behavior seen above the line such as 100% responsibility, acceptance, responding rather than reacting, love, solutions and action.

If you are ready to take some action towards a more positive outlook and in particular boosting your self-esteem come and join the 60 Day Self Esteem Challenge

Jo Thomson is a Personal Success Coach with many years experience as both a Midwife and Single Parent. You can join her 60 Day Self Esteem Challenge at or via theFacebook page



Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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