14 Awesome Dance Moves Every Parent Knows
14 Awesome Dance Moves of Parenthood
Whoever said that you have to hang up your dancing shoes just because you have small children, is wrong!
In fact, us parents know some of the funkiest dance moves going, all of which can be performed on as little as 3 hours sleep, regardless of whether or not you have someone else’s snot smeared on your t-shirt.
1. The – Don’t-Wake-the –Baby Move
Step One: Place sleeping baby in their cot
Step Two: Hold your breath – if your baby so much as hears you breath he/she will wake up and scream the house down again.
Step Three: Avoid creaky floorboards by commando crawling or doing the worm to the door.
2. The First Coffee of the Day Move
3. The Baby Chucked Up On My Shoulder Again Move
4. The Don’t-Give-Me-Unsolicited-Parenting-Advice Move
This one is mostly seen performed in mothers groups, school yards and supermarket. It is characterized by a wild-eyed tired stare, an attempt at a smile that resembles a grimace and a tick that suggests they are fighting the urge to punch someone in the throat.
5. The I’m-Literally-Too-Tired-to-Stand Move
6. The Hiding in the Pantry from the Kids Move
Step One: Wait until children are occupied, and then sneak away quietly to the pantry.
Step Two: Grab all of the chocolate bars you can find.
Step Three: Hear children coming, panic, stuff chocolate into your socks. They have inhabited your womb, they have fed at your breast, and they have stolen your heart…but damn it! You will NOT share your chocolate with them!
7. The No-Its-Definitely-Your-Turn-To-Change-The-Nappy-Dance
Popular with both mums and dads, this move can also be accompanied by the ever-popular eyeball roll, or the angry head shake.
8. The Put Those Bloody Lollies Back Move
Visit any supermarket anywhere in the world and you are almost guaranteed to see this move being performed.
9. The Rubbing in the Head Lice Treatment Move
10. The Kids Are Finally Sleeping Move
11. The Baby Has Had a Nappy Explosion in Public Move
12. The I-Just-Stepped-in-Soggy-Weetbix-with-Barefeet Move
13. The Classic Multi-tasker Move
It is rare to see a parent sitting down and relaxing whilst on the phone. Instead, they are more often seen holding the phone to their ear whilst simultaneously wiping down kitchen benches and/or yelling at the kids.
14. The My Kid Just Used the Potty Move
How many of these dance moves have you performed this week?
Jolene
Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.
