Robin Williams’ widow Susan has spoken for the first time since the actor’s death, saying she doesn’t blame him for taking his own life after what he was going through at the time.
She revealed that he had not only been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease a few months before his death, but also that a coroner’s report found signs of Lewy body dementia, a difficult-to-diagnose condition that leads to a decline in thinking and reasoning abilities.
“The disease is like a sea monster with 50 tentacles of symptoms that show when they want,” she said. “It’s chemical warfare in the brain and we can’t find it until someone dies, definitively. There’s no cure.”
In what would be the final week of his life, doctors were planning to check him into a facility for neurocognitive testing. But in those last weeks, Susan says Robin was “disintegrating before my eyes,” she said. “We were living a nightmare.”
Robin was clean and sober when he died, she said, having recently marked eight years of sobriety.
The couple had been together for seven years and had been wed for three. She described the comic legend as “just a dream” and their relationship “the best love I ever dreamt of.”
Susan also opened up about her final conversation with her husband on the night of August 10, 2014. She said she was in bed, reading, when he offered her a foot massage.
“And I said, ‘It’s OK, honey. Not — you know, it’s OK. You don’t have to tonight.’ And I’ll never forget the look in his eyes of just, sad because he wanted to. And I wished — you know?” she said. “Then he came back in the room a couple of times. Once to his closet. And he said — and then he laughed. And he said, ‘Goodnight, my love.’ And I said, ‘Goodnight, my love.’”