“Am I Wrong For Asking My Family To Leave After Brother’s Pregnancy Announcement?”
A husband who kicked his whole family out after a baby announcement is asking if he did the wrong thing. His anger came from the fact that his wife had just recently suffered a miscarriage. Plus everyone was over to celebrate her birthday. Do you think he over reacted?
Writing into discussion forum Reddit, one man has shared the heartbreak endured by himself and his wife following their recent miscarriage.
My (28M) and my wife “Anna” (28F) were expecting, she was almost 3 months, we were really excited, we bought everything a baby needed, and talked a lot about our future with the baby. August 23rd, 2022, my wife woke me up in tears, she tossed her blanket off from her legs to show me a big patch of blood near her crotch, staining the sheets. We had a really hard time accepting the fact, but Anna was much more affected, she would cry in our bed for at least 4 hours every day, she wouldn’t eat, and she would say awful things about herself and her “useless body”. I had tried to console her to the best of my abilities but I was grief-stricken myself and couldn’t say the right words to her. It took 4 months of therapy for us to gradually start feeling better, Anna was smiling more, she was still a little on edge, but she was doing good.
Enduring a miscarriage is truly heartbreaking for women and couples alike. Healing from something like this can take a lot of time. It can be difficult to go about our normal lives so when Anna’s birthday was coming up her husband decided he really wanted to spoil her and make her feel loved.
January 14th was Anna’s birthday and I wanted to make it really special for her, I invited our friends and family and cooked her favorite foods, I just wanted this day to be happy for her.
For context, our families know about the situation and the effect it had on Anna, especially my brother and SIL, as we had stayed in their house for a bit.
What happened next is truly mind blowing. Seriously. The lack of emotional intelligence in some people is truly astounding!
While everyone was eating the food my brother and SIL got up and told everyone that SIL was pregnant. After 4 seconds of silence, everyone in the room started congratulating them. I was stunned and turned to my wife having an emotionless expression until she smiled slowly and congratulated them, and hugged them both. For a good 20 minutes, everyone couldn’t stop talking about pregnancy, baby names, and new baby toys. They could have easily announced this at their 5-year anniversary party which was just 2 weeks away, what was the point of announcing it on my wife’s birthday?
What was the point indeed! Announcing you’re expecting a baby on your sister in law’s birthday right after she has miscarried is flat out insensitive. End of discussion.
I noticed my wife get up and leave to go to our bedroom, I found her crying. She told me she doesn’t want to go out now, that she doesn’t want to face them. I understood and quickly headed to the table, where everyone was done eating, talking as if they hadn’t noticed we’d left, I didn’t want to make a big scene so I told everyone kindly, that me and Anna had some plans for the evening and that we would have to cut this party short (that was the only thing that came to mind at that moment). SIL comes walking towards me and starts yelling at me saying that I’m doing this because of her announcement, I tried telling her as calmly as possible that it wasn’t like that and this was supposed to be Anna’s birthday party, not some pregnancy announcement party.
I said my goodbyes, then 2 hours later, I get a message from my brother saying I was selfish and that I “shouldn’t be jealous just because we won’t be as careless as the two of you” careless as in implying that we had somehow caused the miscarriage even though we were incredibly careful.
Wow!! This is beyond comprehension. Are they seriously implying that the couple somehow caused their miscarriage?
I’m beyond frustrated. Do you think IATA because of how I handled the situation?
We know what our answer would be and clearly commenters on Reddit share our point of view. So many people wrote in writing of their disbelief at the brother and sister in law’s disgusting behaviour.
One person wrote: “Announcing your pregnancy at someone else’s party is incredibly selfish. Doing so at the party of someone who has recently miscarried is beyond evil. And as for your brother’s “carelessness” comment, I think that’s a clear case of “fighting words.”
“Personally I am a level of petty of where I would screenshot that message and send it to everyone and be like we will be taking a break from brother and SIL who have disgusting minds,” said another.
What do you think? Was the husband justified in kicking his family out?