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Alternative Curse Words for Mums Who Swear – This is F*cking Hilarious!


Alternative Curse Words for Mums Who Swear – This is F*cking Hilarious!

Everyone swears at least a little bit sometimes. Even if the words are altered slightly in front of young ears or polite company, the sentiment is still there. And they are fun to say!

Kraft have released their funniest commercial yet, saying that “Seventy-four percent of mums admit to swearing in front of their kids.” Holy shitballs, there are a lot of mums telling porky-pies out there, hey?

They enlisted mother, author and swearing expert, Melissa Mohr, Ph.D., to suggest some “kid-friendly alterna-swears for moms everywhere to make things right.” And the result is fucking hilarious. Check it out here:

She does make a fair point though. As satisfying as it is to unleash with a mouthful of expletives sometimes, it’s not always an appropriate time to do so.

So, I would like to put forward my own list of “alterna-swears” for us all to consider:

  • farblenidgits!
  • You lint licker!
  • son of a biscuit!
  • Ron Swanson!
  • plonker!
  • fudge buckets!
  • Oh, shiitake mushrooms!!
  • feck!
  • furgurkin’ hell!
  • gobb dash it!
  • sweet nibblits!
  • Son of a booger butt!
  • Where the fu-la la la la are my keys?
  • Sugar honey iced tea!
  • I fardled that right up.
  • banana shenanigans!
  • six and two is eight!
  • Barbara Streisand!
  • Son of a motherless goat!
  • Son of a mother trucker!
  • fudge berries!
  • mother of pearl!
  • Go lick a duck!
  • fudge bucket!
  • cockwomble!
  • Ohhh focaccia!

Which one is your favourite? Do you have any “alterna-swears” of your own to share?

Jill Slater

Jill Slater

Jill is a busy wife and mother of four young children. She loves nothing more than making people giggle, and loves to settle in with a glass of wine (or four) and wander about the internet. Feel free to follow her to see all the cool stuff she finds!

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