Aussie Christmases Done Good!
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, dashing through the snow and walking through a winter wonderland with snowflakes glistening. Well, I would be if I lived on the other side of the world. But here in Australia it’s a totally different scenario. We dream of sunny skies, sandy beaches, picnics and prawns. Oh how us Aussies love our Summer Christmases and their totally relaxed, sweaty vibe.
Christmas down under looks a little different to our Northern hemisphere counterparts. Here we prefer the relaxed feel to the formal hot dinner feasts served up in the colder climes. You won’t find any ugly Christmas jumpers here, instead you will see families in matching Chrissy jammies and single guys in shorts with garish Santa themed shirts. Santa arrives on a jet ski at the beach or a rescue helicopter to delight the kids and often wears thongs and boardies with his red coat and hat.
In Strayia we don’t stress if there’s a last minute casual drop in because we easily spill out onto the patio or add the foldout picnic table to accommodate the unexpected guest. Not enough chairs around the table for the extended family? No wuccas, whip out the camping chair or the old cane stool from the verandah. Too hot in the house? All good, have a picnic at the beach with the eskys loaded to the brim. Forget the hot roasted turkeys and veggies, opt instead for plates of cold meats, an outside barby of prawns, avocados, fresh mango salads, pavlova and iced cocktails.
After gorging on all the food, there will be no lounging around the fire with hot toddies and snoozing. You’ll find us Strayians out in the back yard playing cricket and coits, diving in the pool, screaming down the slip and slide or heading to the beach for an arvo dip or surf.
Shaz and Trace from the comedy series Stage Mums have their own Aussie version of Jingle Bells that sums up Christmas down under.
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Jingle Bells Batman Smells
Dashing cross the sand
Gotta snavel the best spot
A Sav blank in my hand
Trying not to spill a drop
Esky’s full of prawns
Mangoes and Christmas pud
Shorts and thongs and Bali sarongs
Aussie Christmases done good
Jingle bells Batman smells
Is what we used to sing
Awake at dawn on Christmas morn with sunshine streaming in
Jingle bells, sand and shells
Skinny dip in the sea
Beer and wine with all your mates around the Christmas tree
Cricket in the yard
Marco Polo in the pool
The Barby meat gets charred
We’ve got fans to keep us cool
The sheilas all get tipsy
As the blokes wilt in the sun
The tree is lit and so are we
Aussie Christmases are fun
Jingle bells, fully booked hotels
Tourists everywhere
Big beer guzzlers and budgie smugglers, no one really cares
Jingle bells, off prawn smells
Whip out the slip and slide
Eat and drink and laugh until we’ve all gone bleary eyed
Christmas in Australia is a total sweaty vibe
If you enjoyed that you might like Shaz and Trace’s version of Santa Baby. It’s packed with great Christmas gift ideas!
Anna Waters-Massey is a writer, actor and vocalist from the Gold Coast. She loves entertaining people and making them smile with her writing, song parodies and acting work. She is the creator of the comedy series Stage Mums which aired on Network Ten and animated series Insta Infamous and Forest Road.
You can follow me on my socials for more of my song parodies.
