Aussies Share the Stupidest Reasons They Were Kicked Out of the Pub and We Can Totally Relate!

Being turfed from a pub or club for some minor drunken misdemeanour is almost a right of passage for Australians. More often than not, the consumption of alcohol is the culprit, leading normally sensible people to let down their hair a little too much. However, it seems many people also have a story or two about being thrown out of the pub or being refused entry by overzealous security guards for the most ridiculous reasons. Look, we know that these, often hulking and imposing individuals are there to ensure our safety and appreciate that they are just doing their job, but it can become frustrating when they also act as the gatekeepers of fun for no other reason than they don’t like the look of you. Writing into the subreddit Australia, user thewokestlocust asked “What is the stupidest reason you’ve been kicked out of the pub?” and shared their own personal experience to kick the discussion off.

Mine would have to be the time I got kicked out of the pub (after a single beer) for helping a guy who was staggeringly drunk to the taxi stand out front. I didn’t know the guy at all, but he was pissed as all hell and slumped against the door of the pub trying to open it. I opened the door for him and steadied him as he stumbled outside, then walked him towards the taxi stand and made sure he knew where he was going. As I tried to head back in, the seccy stopped me and told me I was too intoxicated. I started with the whole ‘I’ve had one drink, I’m clearly not intoxicated, and I was helping that stranger to the taxi stand because he was blind drunk’ spiel but met the famous two-hands-held-up-in-front-of-my-chest gesture from the seccy and the ‘I’m NoT heRe tO aRgUe wiTh yOu mAYyte’ speech and got bounced anyway. Shit way to end the catch up with some mates.

As expected, the question proved a popular topic of conversation, attracting almost 2,000 comments to date, in which people share similarly frustrating stories. Here’s some of our favourite and most relatable replies.

Was in a pub with some friends and went to the bar with one of them to get another round and the bartender signalled the bouncer to come over and said, “sorry guys, you’ve obviously had too much”. My friend was Norwegian. He had just got there and hadn’t had any drinks yet – he just had a Norwegian accent. (SnoopThylacine)

I was the designated driver. I accompanied a friend to the bar, she orders a drink and I don’t. Seco walks up and tells me I need to leave because I was refused a drink by bar staff.

Told him I didn’t order a drink; ask the bar staff and they will confirm. I’m being “argumentative” and need to leave now.

Asshat. (Bluppa)

I walked in, clumsily tripped on a small step that was like 5cm high and almost invisible- didn’t even fall over, and was escorted out for being over intoxicated despite not even having one drink yet lmao (It-Turnover-2293)

Not me but two of my relatives who are twins.

One of them went to the bathroom, whilst in the bathroom, the other one got kicked out from the table. The other one returned, and after some minutes the bouncer saw him alone at the table. He came over, told him that he’d already kicked him out and that he had to leave again. Confused, my cousin thought he was joking, but the bouncer insisted. So, he went outside to find his twin brother complaining with another seccie. The seccie realising his mistake but unable to determine which one he’d just kicked out, decided to kick them both out to be safe 😂 (DiccDaddy69)

My nana had just died and i was a bit miffed at how she was handled in the hospital and was expressing this to the table and i got slapped by a girl who got offended by my thoughts.

And then I got kicked out because she slapped me. (7_BAIT)

Was sitting at a bar catching up with mates after 5 years. We had only just bought our first round of beers and a security guard came up to us and asked if we’re with any girls. We were confused and said no. He then told us we’ll have to leave and come back with girls, as groups of men pose a safety risk. From the get go he was very stand-offish and had his hand on my shoulder, so there was no point arguing with him, we just left and drank in a nearby park. Probably the best night because we just sat in peace laughing and telling stories about our childhood haha (Senior-Marketing3637)

I found a phone on the floor of a pub once, someone called it I answered and told them I’d meet them at the front of the pub to hand it back. Turns out it belonged to a security guard I was standing out the front waiting and a security guard snatched it out of my hand without saying anything ( at this point I didn’t know it belonged to them ).

I retaliated and tried to take it back since they didn’t explain it was there’s and got tackled by security and turfed. (RealHansmoleman)

We got thrown out of a pub once when we told the landlord that the the paper towel dispenser fell off the wall in the gents toilet, as my mate and I were (genuinely), extracting paper towels in the approved fashion. We then went up the road into another pub, and got thrown out before we ordered a drink, because when we walked in, we told the landlord that we’d just been thrown out of the one down the road – honesty was not the best policy. (1925)

I asked for a rum and coke,and the barmaid asked which rum? I said any,apart from Bundaberg. She asked if Southern Comfort was ok. I told her that wasn’t rum. Got escorted from the building. (cantcatchme812)

WORKING in the pub, go out to smoking area & try to re-enter.
NEW Hard-ass seccy is turning back everyone who’s “had toooooo much to drink”

Stops me (because I’m sort of sweaty – from working). “Narp! You’re drunk!”
Didn’t have my phone on me & had to walk to nearest servo to call the manager. (Dollbeau)

Not a pub but a licensed venue

You could say that I was a regular at this place, knew all the security guards, got along great.

One night I’m at the bar just shooting the shit with one of my friends over a few drinks

This RSA officer I never met comes up and tells me that me and my mate need to leave because we look like we are about to cause trouble. I’ve had probably two drinks, my friend a few more though. We are being a bit animated but not overly rambunctious.

I start to explain myself to him and he goes “I don’t want ya life story mate I want yous to get out” and then threatened me with being put on the ban list if I don’t comply which would mean I’m banned from all licensed venues for a specified period of time.

Didn’t even let me explain that I actually owned the place. (A_spiny_meercat)

That’s right! Bouncers have even thrown out staff who are on a shift, and the owner of the establishment! Hilarious! Only in ‘straya!

What is the stupidest reason you’ve been thrown out of a pub or club?