Is there anything more bogan than giving your child a name with a ‘yooneek’ spelling? Well, according to the popular AskAnAustralian subreddit, the answer is absolutely bloody not! We’ve compiled a list of some of the best answers to the question, ‘what are the worst Australian names for men and women that are commonly found today,’ that you might want to keep off your list of potential baby names…or not. Totally up to you!

I worked with a Jebecka, her personality was somehow worse than her name (bangnamgbatarang)

Knew a full on bogan chick that called her kid Zhayne not Zane. (jimmyGODpage)

I taught a child called Decksxtaah. Poor kid. His sister was Moonleighah. Dog was called Shane. They had an oops baby but long before I left. Its name was Belocidy. (TheHonPonderStibbons)

Ex work mate called her son Zayvier . FFS.

Kids at the daycare my daughter goes to are Navy, Chili, Ryver, Jaxxon, Jett, and not to be forgotten is poor little Khaleesi .

Then there’s Melania. A toddler with the same name as Trump wife. ?! Bizarre. (Wheelie_bin)

Chick I went to school with hit the pipe pretty hard and named her daughter Galaxee 😂😂 (ZingrBoxx)

It seems to have died down a little in the last couple of years, but any kid named Malachai was a guaranteed turd. This effect was multiplied by the multitude of various misspelled versions. Malarkai, Malakye, Malaki etc. (aljobar)

Every little kid I’ve met named Kai already has a mullet and rat tail by kindergarten. (badgersprite)

Keitha. It’s like Keith, but with an a. (Casualplants)

The only time I’ve heard Paris Hilton’s kids names – Phoenix & London – in the wild was hearing them yelled loudly by fed-up bogan parents at extra rowdy kids on McDonald’s playgrounds. Followed by “cm’eer roight NOW! or ya won’t getcha Happy Mea-ul” (Clatato)

There was an ‘Onya Cloud’ at my son’s playgroup. I don’t know if the Cloud was a middle name or a surname, but either way it’s funny. (river_blossom)

My nephew’s name is Nalu which is apparently Hawaiian for “wave”. We have exactly 0% Hawaiian heritage and it’s just the most pretentious shit ever 😂 (Dat_Aus)

Blaydon, because his Mum couldn’t decide between Blade and Braydon. In the same class there was also a Jezzika and Midori. (LongTallSalski)

I have a distant relative who named her son Linkin. (Theduckbytheoboe)

It’s not necessarily the names, it’s the spelling.

I knew someone who named her son Harley. Except that’s not how it was spelt. It was Harleigh. And don’t get me started on the Melowdees and the Sindees et al. If you don’t know how to spell you shouldn’t be allowed to have children. (Archangel1962)

Jayden. In fact anything that ends with “ayden” of any kind. The only acceptable name with this sound is in fact Aidan. (Evendim)

The worst names are ones that people name their kids after things they cant afford, EG- Mercedes, Chanel. (allmycircuit5)

Met a bogan mum at playgroup once who’s overweight toddler was called Usher. White as a ghost, dressed head to toe in kmart. I had to ask her 3 times what his name was. (Top_Street_2145)

Just met someone called Zarren this past week. (Zbucks-callout)

I know of a girl named Makita after the power tools. That takes the cake for me. (blackshadow)

Kyralyie

I feel so bad for that poor child. (Tashdacat)

Never met a Karsten that wasn’t a stereotypical Bogan. 

Also knew a bloke who called his kid Draghen so he could get a Dragon tat. (Thorpie88)

Reignbeaux… my bogan ex’s cousin (dj_boy-Wonder)

We had family friends who named their daughter Chloe.

…except it was pronounced “Schlow” (cum_dragon

My daughter called her son Teddy, he’s five years old and is learning to box which is good because I think he will need to know how to fight as he gets older with that name. (crocodileeeye)

Cellophane…pronounced ‘sellefanny’. When asked where she got such an ‘interesting’ name, the mother said “I saw it written down somewhere.” (Cool-Plastic-3224)

There’s a kid in my daughter’s class named ‘Jacxksyn’. His behavior is exactly how one would expect from a name spelt like that. (Cows-go-moo-)

A friend is a primary school teacher, and had a student called Calais. Any free dress day the kid would wear Holden branded clothes. (ipoopcubes)

There is an increasing amount of indigenous kids getting African American names, or being named after NBA players, I’ve come across at least 5 Kobe’s, 6 LeBrons and 1 Lamelo, in regional qld. Also Shantiah, Lequisha, Ashonda and this one made me laugh the hardest because I work in IT but Ubiquity (it means common) (bartonprime)

I once met a girl called ‘VB’. Literally the letters VB. It turns out her dad loved VB so much he named his daughter that. Not even a little less on the nose like Victoria or something. Just straight up VB. Poor girl. You wouldn’t be surprised where I met her too. (CG9789)

We know of an Alpha at school. I don’t know if they wanted to assert dominance early or just shortened Alphabet… (Theziponyourshoe)

Our friends just had a boy and named it Bodeh. Their eldest son is called Jeffro and the middle kid is Rydah. (automatedandok)

I went to primary school in the 90s with a twin brother and sister called Benson and Hedges. At the time I thought it was cool, but after growing and realising they were named after a cigarette brand, I thought it was super trash. And their family was extra super trash. (mcshmurt)

I met a woman who called her daughter Epiphanee Clearly, she didn’t have one when coming up with the spelling of that name, but you know. (Fitforyourmum)

There’s a Treyvond at work. Mother couldn’t decide between Trevor and Raymond, so she went with both. (Eldritch50)

Surnames as first names. Like on MAFS, there was that guy named Collins. Why not just Collin? Even though that’s a shitty name in itself. (jebiga_au)

Taught a Bazza, even checked his birth certificate to make sure…

BAZZA

was a total legend. (Crazymongooseskeleton)

I knew of a Nafan (yep bogan phonetic spelling of Nathan) and a McKayla as well.

Both of them turned out how you’d expect.

I also know someone who named their kid Isla-Paris. Yep. That’s the legal name. The kid is now 8 and I don’t think she’s ever used her full name before. Going to be wild getting her driving license and realising there is a whole other name you don’t know about. (W2ttsy)

What’s the worst name you’ve heard?