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“Family is Angry That I Won’t Put My Baby Daughter in the Bikini They Bought for Her!”

What Do You Do When You are Gifted Inappropriate Baby Wear?

One mother has turned to the internet for advice after finding herself at odds with family over the way she chooses to dress her 9-month-old daughter. It’s not unusual to be gifted clothing when you have a baby, that might not be in the style you prefer. But what do you do when you are given clothing that you consider in poor taste and inappropriate for a child of that age to wear, and are hassled to make your child wear it?

My daughter 9m is a baby and I only dress her in clothes that are appropriate for a baby ie no crop top, bikini, or anything that looks inappropriate for a child to were. I also don’t put her in stuff with sexiest or weird writing things like” daddy said no dating” or” mommy’s personal headache” I don’t like those. We don’t have a lot of money right now so I do appreciate when people want to give us stuff however just because it was given to us doesn’t mean I will put my daughter in it. I have talked with family members before the birth and many times after about how I feel about baby clothes, not in a mean way but explaining my thoughts and beliefs about dress babies in “baby clothes” . It doesn’t matter most of the stuff we are given is booty shorts, bikinis and short dresses. I always say thank you for the clothes but that stuff gets put in her closet never to be looked at again.


This past weekend it was brought to my attention that I hurt feelings when I brought my baby to a pool party in a swim suit I bought my daughter not the bikini. The swimsuit I bought has sleeves and was built for sun protection, were as the bikini was not. Apparently several people were thinking that they would get to see my baby’s rolls ( she is very chubby) in the bikini and where disappointed that she showed up in the long sleeves. I said that I didn’t want her to get cold while getting in and out of the water and was concerned about too much sun on her sensitive skin and that was the reason for the switch. This was not received well and it was pointed out that many outfits that have been bought are never seen. I pointed out that I have been very open about my thoughts on baby clothes and I’m not put my daughter in something I hate to make other people happy. I was told that it is rude and ungrateful that I don’t at least put her in the stuff when she is coming to see family they bought it and want to see her in it. I said she is my baby and not there’s I will put her in clothes that her dad and myself approve of. So AITAH?


If it is true that this mum has made her clothing preferences very clear, it is hardly her fault that these people have wasted their money giving her things that she’s expressly said her child won’t be wearing!


You dress your baby in appropriate clothes and avoid items you dislike. Family got upset when you didn’t use their gifts, but you prioritise your child’s comfort and safety. You’ve been clear about your preferences, so you’re not wrong for sticking to them. (No-Major_364)

The most glaring issue here for many people was the family’s ignorance about sun safety. It is ridiculous that this mother is being questioned over her very wise decision to dress her child in a swimming costume that covers up her skin, rather than have it exposed just so that the family can see her cute belly rolls!

Also as someone who struggles with skin cancer due to early sun damage you are doing the right thing by covering her up. She will thank you later. 🙂 (marie103)

NTA remind them that sunburns before the age of 2 raises the possibility of skin cancer for the rest of her life. (pepper_Pfieffer)

NTA … the fact you had to explain why you did not put a baby in a bikini is messed up and wierd! Well done sticking up for yourself and your baby. Ps you shouldn’t have to defend having spf protective clothing on a baby, are they dumb? (Dublinvixen)

People also expressed their discomfort with some of the clothing that is avaubale for children and babies that isn’t age-appropriate.

Sexualizing babies freaks me out. What is wrong with people ? A gift , once given, is no longer your beeswax. (enkilekee)

Right? I saw a T-shirt for an infant boy – I assume that said “I am a breast man “. I am far from a prude but I felt nauseous. (Silvermouse29)


My SIL used to give baby clothes with cheesy writing like ” I’m here because the condom broke” ect…. She was told multiple times it was inappropriate and just laughed it off.

Fast forward to when my 1st nephew was born I got him a onesie that said “I’m living proof that mom loves to fuck”. SIL lost her shit and I reminded her of when she gave inappropriate gifts to others. That shut her up pretty quick…….. Then I gave her the real gift. (tryintobgood)

With regards to what she should do with the unwanted clothing and opinions, there were some great suggestions:

Your family is entitled and controlling. I’d suggest you return the unwanted clothing to them and suggest they do what they like with it, because your daughter will not be wearing it. (DawnShakhar)

My friend turned inappropriate t shirt tops inside out for yard play and eating staining foods. that saved the limited nicer clothes from being stained. (Sue323464)


Ugh, I always hate it when people try to change my mind about what is best for my kid.

My response is always the same:

She’s healthy, she’s happy, she’s smart, she’s safe, and she’s loved. Any of that changes, you can speak up. Til then, I don’t need your opinions. (BookNerd815)

Did you ever receive clothing for your child that you refused to let them wear?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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