It’s easy to lose yourself to motherhood. After all, those little people need our attention and we want them to grow into well-rounded, loving and capable adults. During those wonderful first few years I remember all of my energy was dedicated to my children. The routine of nappies, feeding, sleeping, burping and washing was a full time job and then some. After several years of this routine I wondered who I was and where I had gone. Did others face this dilemma?…I suspected so.
After interviewing three incredible women the advice was obvious – make some time for you. Carla Bonner, well known for her role as Steph Scully in Neighbours, says “Get to know who you are. Take time for yourself and do things that nourish you. Honour yourself with time because you deserve it. The more nourished you are and content you are with being a woman, the better a mum you’ll be.”
Nicola Makim, of Makim Wellness in Noosa, adds to this the importance of listening to yourself. “Get an hour a day where it’s just you – walk in nature and tap into how you are feeling. Shut the mind down and listen to your own truth.”
Yet, as mothers, we will put everyone else’s needs in front of us. There are all the household chores to attend to, for many a job is also in the mix, then there’s the children’s needs and not to mention the partner/husband! By the time we fall into bed at night we are so exhausted it’s hard to even pick up a book to read.
I’m astonished when I ask other mothers what they would do with some spare time. Often the answer is “I don’t know.” They are so caught up in routines and ‘busyness’ they can’t contemplate having spare time, let alone what they would do with it. Trish Murray, model, speaker and co-creator of the Yummy Mummy Body Wrap, suggests we return to our days before tiny tots for inspiration. “Go back to the young girl you were before children, when you didn’t have boundaries. What were your loves and passions and get some of them back into your life,” says Trish.
In our role as mothers we are normally the support structure in a home, but what do we do to support us? Carla is passionate about creating a healthy lifestyle to support mothers. This includes eating fresh, organic foods and exercise including yoga and pilates. She also shared that reading books, particularly The Power of Now (Ekhart Tolle) has been transforming for her. Nicola tells us to “hit the yoga mat” and to use the power of deep breathing to centre us.
The reality is we always have a choice in the way we live. But if you sense there is a part of you waiting to be rediscovered in the midst of all the washing and cleaning, you will need to do some things differently. We all understand that heart-wrenching love we feel for our children, the love that means you would do anything for them. We also need to feel that love towards ourselves. Trish shares that one of the greatest challenges she faced was “keeping myself as some sort of priority.” This is the challenge we all face. The solution…give yourself time and space to explore who you are and who you want to be. If these three busy, successful women can find the time to do so then so can all of us.
Margit Cruice is an author, coach, motivational speaker and energy worker based in Noosa, Qld. Her latest book “They’re off to school, now what?: A mother’s guide to rediscovering herself” will be released in July 2013.
Running an international coaching business, managing a Rock music program for children and being a single mother to 3 children aged 13, 11 and 9, she is a high energy, passionate woman. She knows that every woman in the world deserves to love herself and understand how hard this can be. Through her coaching and healing she helps people break down their self imposed barriers and follow their heart.
You can learn more about Margit at www.howtoloveloveme.com or www.margitcruice.com