Happy New Year everyone. Hope 2014 found you all happy, healthy and wise. Were you one of those people who had a whole list of resolutions that were going to signal the new you?! You know, the usual suspects – lose weight, quit smoking, eat healthy, exercise and travel more. I haven’t done any sort of poll but I can pretty much bet they would be in the top 10. Have a mentioned any of your resolutions or do you have any others to add?

I was never into the whole new year resolution thing- who needs all that pressure put upon them? Not me. In January I’m too busy trying to figure out which day of the week will be my alcohol free day. So many scenarios/events over the holidays require alcohol, don’t you think?

So even though resolutions are not my cup of tea, I do have a Do Not Do List. It looks something like this:

1) Do not get swept into any more reality TV. I already have my hands full with all The FakeAss Real Housewives of every postcode in America, as well as The Shahs of Sunset, which is more like a documentary really. It’s all about the journey of the Persians from their war torn land to a foreign city like LA. It deals with love, betrayal and lots of Diamond Water. I do have to make one exception to my no-more-shows though- The Real Housewives of Melbourne is starting very soon. To not tune in would be very un-Australian of me.

2) Do not keep every empty box of every single cosmetic you have ever bought no matter how pretty the packaging is. I will now remove the product from the box and place it straight into the rubbish. Except if the box has pictures of pineapples on it, or is a neon colour…

3) Do not buy any more black singlets (20 is more than enough), clogs (unless they are on sale in which case I will have no choice), skinny jeans or canned tomatoes.

4) Do not kid yourself- gluten free twisties are neither healthy or a sufficient meal replacement. I have tried to kick the habit and I’m happy to say that this year I haven’t had a single packet!

5) Don’t sweat the small stuff. Save your energy for what really matters. Pick your battles. Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle. Life is about the journey not the destination. Be the best you you can be. STOP READING inspirational quotes! If you find that you constantly need these motivational slogans to keep you going then perhaps there’s deeper issues there. Don’t know, just saying…

6) Stop buying things online just because you pay with paypal and you think it’s not real money. It is real money and so are the packages that arrive at your door. (Speaking of online shopping you must check out Lotta From Stockholm clogs on Ebay. You’re welcome).

7) Do not enter any establishment that charges more than $12 for avocado on toast. No matter how ‘smashed’ it is, it still remains just an avocado cut up and spread on toast. Yes, I know your groovy hipster cafe mixes theirs with some lebanese yoghurt and even adds Himalayan pepper and salt- but it’s still just avocado people! And speaking of avocados, I want to know who supplies all these cafes with perfect green ones while I always end up with the duds.

8) Stop kidding yourself that you’re only going to quickly pop in to Chemist Warehouse to buy cotton ear buds. You know what will happen. It happens every time. This year will be no exception. Those damn fluoro tickets lure me down every aisle every time- they’re like the sirens to my Odysseus. I am powerless to their $5.99 specials!

9) Don’t be a people pleaser. Just don’t.



10) My last and most important Don’t Do is….don’t stop dancing. Always make time for a solo dance in front of the mirror. Grab a hairbrush and lip sync your heart out. Nothing will ground you or keep you smiling more than a whole choreographed routine to Billy Jean. Yes, I do have one. And to Madonna’s Borderline, Into The Groove and Vogue.

And there you have it, my top 10 Don’t Do’s for 2014. Will I be successful? Who knows. I can only try. Now I really must go, I have a number 10 to squeeze in before a settle in to a number 1. Happy New Year! X

Chrystal Lovevintage is the mother of twins, loving wife and vintage tragic.

A child of the 80s who loves pop culture, Danish design and vegemite toast with honey.

Loves fashion, reading autobiographies and has a knack for turning trash to treasure.

Chrystal’s honest reflections are an insight into her colourful and at times crazy world.

You can follow her blog at www.chrystalovevintage.wordpress.com