Please Don’t Put Vicks VapoRub up your Vaginas, Ladies

It is startling that enough women have been putting Vicks VapoRub up their vaginas to warrant a warning from healthcare professionals, but here we are.

Experts are urging women not to clean their vaginas with Vicks Vaporub after a bizarre internet trend has compelled many to experience tingling in their genitalia.

Online forums and blogs claim the ointment, intended to soothe an irritating cough, can boost women’s sex lives, clean the intimate area, cure thrush and even maintain a pleasant odour on the vagina.

Maintain a pleasant odour on the vagina.

We don’t even want to begin to imagine what that combination might smell like.

Ask the Google Machine about “Vicks VapoRub and vagina” (maybe try page 2, because everyone is appalled at this story and it’s taken up most of page 1) and you’re met with an alarming number of blogs and forums that suggest the ointment can be used on your lady garden.

We implore you. Do not put Vicks on your genitals.

Have we forgotten about that time this woman issued a warning not to use a certain brand of Mint and Tea Tree body lotion on your girlie bits, using the emotive words “MY FUCKING FLAPS!!!!!”? Have we learnt nothing?

Doctors warned women just last week not to put cucumbers in their vaginas in another bizarre and dangerous trend that is sweeping the web.

Dubbed the ‘vagina facial’, the craze involves inserting the peeled salad staple into your intimate parts before twisting it around for approximately 20 minutes. Good luck lasting that long is all we can say!

Bloggers claim the fruit’s high vitamin content sanitises genitals and gives vaginas a pleasant odour.

This is getting to Dude, Where’s My Car levels of stupid.

Also this year, we’ve been warned not to put glitter up our noonies, not use wasps nests to tighten our vaginas, and to steer clear of shoving jade eggs up there.

Who is silly enough to try any of this stupid shit?

Dr Vanessa Mackay, a gynaecologist and spokeswomen for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, has told women to cut it out.

“The vagina contains good bacteria, which are there to protect it from infections.

“Disturbing the natural flora through extensive cleaning can lead to infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush, and inflammation.

“Use plain, unperfumed soaps to wash the area around the vagina [the vulva], not inside it, gently every day.”

If you want it all tingly and hot down there, you can buy lubes that do that for you. Granted, they won’t clear your stuffed nose at the same time, but you won’t harm yourself either.

Source: Giphy