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My Husband Has Asked Me to Start Wearing the Same Perfume as His ‘Work-Wife’

One woman has taken to Reddit to find out whether she is right to be mad at her husband after he came home one day and asked her to start wearing the same perfume as his ‘work-wife.’ Although he doesn’t appear to hide his friendship with his female co-worker, and lets her access his phone, her concern is that this new development may signify that he has a crush on her.

My husband has a coworker he’s always talking about, a “work-wife”(we’ll call her Annie) sort of thing. I am not comfortable with it but he’s always been open with letting me see his phone and leaving the “find my” app available.

Yesterday he came home and asked me to buy a certain perfume for myself. I asked him why and he said that Annie always wears it and he really likes it. I told him no and I find it really offensive that he wants me to wear the same perfume as someone that he’s friends with and I feel like he probably has a crush on her. He says I’m overreacting and he just likes the way it smells and that it doesn’t mean anything.

Our friends are pretty split on who’s right.

Many of the commenters on Reddit pointed out how even using the term ‘work-wife’ would make them uncomfortable about the situation.

I’m an attractive woman and have had many close male colleagues in my career working in a very male dominated industry.

I cringe at the term ‘work wife’. It implies a level of emotional intimacy and codependency that isn’t cool.

Boundaries are important at work, particularly for women, to avoid the double standard issues that apply just to women.

I usually refer to the people I go into (business) battle with as ‘comrades’. It’s gender neutral and doesn’t imply something untoward.

Yeah, someone called me her “work husband” once, and I immediately told her that we were coworkers and nothing more. She didn’t like that, but I don’t give a shit. I’m not disrespecting my wife with that nonsense. . (SorchitaFilly)


Same here, worked in a male dominant field and one time my coworker referred me as his work wife and I shut that down instantly. Why not work sister or work mom? Wife is for the wife, no thanks. (buenRaKulo)

Commenters were stunned that he’d been stupid enough to even bring it up with his wife.

Yeeeeaaaaaaa……that’s a hard NO from me.

    1. No two people will smell exactly the same, even wearing the same perfume. Body chemistry is funny that way.
    2. Asking YOUR WIFE to wear a perfume you like on another woman you interact closely with is so out of line, it crosses into intentional stupidity. Who tf DOES that?! (jaelythe4781)


Also, why the fuck didn’t he just BUY some for his wife without telling her?

Dude is an idiot or playing mind games (deGrapes)

Nah that’s weird, like that’s really, really weird. (wordsOfSanghelios)

Other people thought that she should trust her gut feelings on the matter and agreed that it did suggest that he had inappropriate feelings for his coworker.

He’s wrong. Like “wtf” level wrong. I’d be livid if my wife asked me to wear her coworkers cologne. And then I’d question…everything.

He’s also telling you that he’s attracted to her, at a minimum. (Coupe347)


Yeah, he’s probably already cheating on you with her and maybe he figures if you wear the same perfume she does, you won’t catch him smelling like another woman. (berriiwitch)

What do you think? What would you do if your partner asked you to start wearing the same perfume as their ‘work wife?’

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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