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“I Refused to Babysit My Sister’s Kids for Free Because She Said Stay-at-Home Mums Don’t Work!”

It’s no secret that the domestic work that women do around the home, including taking care of children, is largely undervalued by the people who benefit from it the most. But you’d think that another mother would have the common sense to know that being a stay-at-home mum isn’t a piece of cake! One woman has turned to the internet for advice after her sister demanded that she provide free childcare for her three children because she is a stay-at-home mum and doesn’t do anything all day!

I (30F) am a stay-at-home mom to two young kids. My sister (28F) has three children and works a full-time job. Recently, she asked if I could babysit her kids every day after school until she gets off work.

I told her I’d be happy to help but that I’d need some compensation since it would be a significant addition to my daily responsibilities. She exploded, saying that since I “don’t work” and “just stay home all day,” I shouldn’t need to be paid for it.

I was floored by her comment. Staying at home with two kids is a full-time job in itself, and adding three more kids to the mix is no small task. I tried to explain this to her, but she accused me of being selfish and not supporting family.

Our parents have taken her side, saying I should be more accommodating because she’s working hard to support her family. Now, I’m being painted as the villain for expecting some form of compensation for the extra work.

AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids for free because she doesn’t see my role as a stay-at-home mom as real work?


People were outraged that the sister not only felt entitled to dump her three children off on her every day, but also didn’t recognise how much more ‘work’ this would create for her.

NTA, if she isn’t willing to recognise the value of SAHMs then she isn’t entitled to your babysitting services. (PhaedronGDR)


“Oh, taking care of kids isn’t working and doesn’t deserve to be compensated? Well, I don’t see why you’re asking me then, if it’s such a small thing there are tons of people you could ask! Just go into your kid’s class and start talking with the mothers there, I’m sure one of them would watch your kids for free! Don’t act like you can ONLY get me to do this zero-work task for free, what a silly suggestion.” (PolygonMan)

Commenters thought that she was well within her rights to expect some kind of compensation for such a large undertaking, as it would impact both her and her own children to have 3 extra children in the home.

Well done for keeping strong boundaries.

Keep family comms airy and positive – you’d be willing to consider the additional childcare workload if compensated, but otherwise you’d like to spend the maximum quality time with your children during these precious childhood years. You 100% respect your sister’s choice not to opt for paid-for childcare with you and wish her the best of luck in finding a free/cheaper sitter. Perhaps at granny’s house…… (Short-Ad-9388)

NTA. Asking for help once in a while at no cost is fine I guess, but making it a daily assignment deserves a compensation, especially for 3 kids. (Confident_Pattern344)

NTA. Sounds like your parents are more than willing to babysit the kids for free so you are not needed. (RaymondBeaumont)

As some people pointed out, it would actually cost her money to do this ‘favour’ for her sister, as she’d have to spend more money on groceries to feed her niblings.

Um….. if it isn’t “work” why are daycares/ after school programs so expensive? You’re more than doubling your work load, and the expense of 3 hungry children every day isn’t cheap either. If she’s not willing to help out, then she can find this non-work for free elsewhere. NTA (Several_Leather_9500)

5 kids is a fucking day care center. She has to pay. (GogucWho)


If your sister doesn’t think child caring real work then she can find someone else who’s willing to do it for free.

And as for the interfering parents who took the sisters side and tried to coerce OP into ‘helping’ her sister, if it’s so easy, people thought they should do it!

As for your parents – I would remind them that you also need to support your own family. Providing child care for her children means taking something away from yours. Whether that’s food, attention, etc.

If they feel so empathetic towards your sister then they can offer their services to care for her children. (bearbear407)

After that outburst I wouldn’t do this even if she did pay you.

If taking care of children isn’t work, then there should be PLENTY of people willing to care for her children for free. (Newsflash, she’ll have to pay to find someone.)

You are working extra hard to support your family, too, by the way. I’m sorry your parents even got involved. You and your sister are adults and they should stay out of it and refuse to engage. I think the best thing is to refuse to discuss it. She asked if you’d babysit every day and you said no. It’s over. Asked and answered. (Human_Copy_4355)

What do you think? Could you cope with taking care of three extra children every day?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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