“I Told My Friend Her Child Will Be Bullied if She Gives Them the Name She is Considering!"

Choosing a name for your child is a very personal choice – it’s also a big responsibility. A name that is cute for a baby that doesn’t age well when they head into adulthood can be a source of embarrassment, give unkind peers a reason to bully them and even affect future job prospects. One woman, on hearing the names her friend was considering on naming her child, tried to voice her concerns to the mum-to-be. Unfortunately, her well-intentioned comments were not received well. But, was she right to try to talk her friend out of the unusual monikers she was considering?

One of my friends found out she was pregnant a few months ago, and she’s really excited to be a mother. I’m happy for her and think she’d make a good mom, but there’s one problem; she wants her baby’s name to be unique and special, but the way she’s going about it is terrible. What I mean is, the name she plans on using is godawful. If it’s a boy, she’s going to name him “Daynger” (yes, spelled like that to be unique), and if it’s a girl, she’s going to name her “Tinkerbelle”. I wish I was joking. I asked her if she was 100% sure, and suggested if she was dead set on those names to make them the kid’s middle name. When she asked why, I told her flat out that the child would get bullied if she named them that. I know just how shitty kids can be; I got bullied for my name, and changed it when I was 19. She got really upset and told me I was being unsupportive and I was a shitty friend. She’s been ignoring my texts ever since, and it’s been more than a week. I’m starting to feel kind of guilty over what I said.

AITA?

People on the ‘Am I the Asshole’ forum agreed with the woman that the names could be detrimental to the child’s future.

NTA.

She needs a reality check. She’s naming adults here. Those names won’t set her kids up for their best shot at life and she needs to accept that. (Thoughtinspace)

NTA people need to be called out for calling their kids stupid shit, like just buy a fish and call it Daynger (SkulledDownunda)

Ehhh NTA. The kid will be bullied. They will be forced to work minimum wage fast food jobs because nobody in the corporate world would ever accept Daynger’s or Tinkerbelle’s resume. And what if they wanted to run for office? A baby’s name should work for them from birth to school to career to retirement. She’s only thinking of how cute a baby Daynger/Tinkerbelle would be and not thinking of how much her tween will hate her for that name. (Regular-Switch454)

I think Tinkerbelle could be cute for a baby/toddler, but imagining a grown adult named Tinkerbelle makes me cringe just a bit. I don’t think Daynger would be cute at any age, though, especially when it’s purposefully misspelled to look more quirky. (XxFireflyxxX)

Other people disagreed with the mum-to-be’s take that her friend was being unsupportive of her, pointing out that a good friend that cares about you should be able to have an honest conversation with you.

NTA-

I’m so sick of people assuming that anyone who disagrees with them is ‘unsupportive’. Being a supportive friend does not mean being a yes-man, it means having your friends best interests at heart. You do want your friend and her child to be happy, therefore you are the most supportive. Any name should fill a person with confidence as people keep having to introduce themselves again and again throughout their life.

Show your friend the soap box video that comedian David Mitchell made on naming your baby. It’s quite easy to find on YouTube, it lays the argument out perfectly. (Frielndly_Order3729)

Many commenters suggested that if the expectant mum really set on the names, perhaps she could use them as middle names instead.

Speaking of adults, there is more than one adult who created this kid. I really want to know the dad’s perspective. I can’t believe two TWO grown adults are choosing such asinine names. Maybe OP could talk to him and see if he can convince the friend to make them middle names. You can name your child something stupid for the middle name, no one cares. NTA (Zealousideal-Log-152)

Thankfully the OP came back with an update on the situation.

Update: We had a conversation over call. I decided to tell her about my experience getting bullied for years because of my name (Shayleigh, called Gayleigh), and it turns out she’s been going through a lot. Birth complications run in her family, and she’s been really stressed out about it, along with finding out that her boyfriend (now ex) of 3 years has been exchanging dirty texts with a coworker of his. I had no idea about this, and she expressed regret for taking out her feelings on me. I carefully brought up some of your points, and suggested using the name “Belle” for a girl, with “Tinkerbelle” as a nickname; she thinks it’s cute and liked the idea. I also mentioned maybe using “Dayn” as a first name with “Danger” as a nickname, which she wasn’t quite as happy about. She did decide to use “Daynger” (still spelled like that) as a middle name, which isn’t nearly as bad as using it for a first name. On the bright side, the kid can tell people “Danger is my middle name”. Thank you for all your advice, everyone. I really appreciate your help and suggestions.