One man, expecting to garner the support of the masses, has turned to the internet to complain that his brother and sister-in-law are not using the gift that he and his wife gave them on the birth of their first child. The gift in question is a set of smart baby monitors with wifi capability and video, just like the gifting couple used when their own children were babies. Not only were the new parents not using the expensive gift, they were using an old style, basic baby monitor that lacked all of the functions of the new one.
My brother and his wife just had a baby. Me and my wife had bought them a set of baby monitors that we used when each of our kids were babies. They seemed happy with our gift at the time and nothing was amiss. However, they are not using it.
The baby monitor that they are using is the old kind. I noticed when my brother showed me the nursery. There is no video or WiFi capability like the one we gave them. When I confronted my brother he said it was a nice thought but they are uncomfortable with the idea of a video and WiFi for security reasons. Just before my niece was born they moved out of their flat and bought a house and now that my brother said it I noticed they don’t have any smart/WiFi capable appliances or even a Ring camera. Both of them do have cell phones and they also have work ones but my brother said they use data for all 4 of those. Otherwise, they don’t have WiFi and have set up two cables so their laptops can have internet. He said they don’t want anything in their home that can be hacked or exploited when it comes to security, especially when it comes to my niece. He compared a WiFi capable baby monitor to him and my sister-in-law choosing not to have social media or allowing anything about my niece to be put online, by themselves or anyone else.
AITAH for feeling offended that they aren’t using the gift we gave them? My wife feels the same way. My brother is a Crown Prosecutor and my sister-in-law works is at the Met and has worked child exploitation cases in the past so I feel like they are just projecting here and overreacting to something that is harmless. It is causing tension between me and my brother because we took the time to give a gift that was not only thoughtful but not cheap. It is also meant to make things more convenient for him and my sister-in-law. Are me and my wife wrong for being offended and angry here?
Rather than receiving messages of support and understanding as he had clearly expected, people took to the comments section to vindicate the couple’s choice not to have wifi in their home for security reasons.
I also refuse to use a WiFi monitor. I’m a nanny and so many of us reported having strange people talking to us or our kids through the monitor because they were being easily hacked. So, I totally understand their hesitancy to use a wifi one.
I use a video monitor that requires proximity to the camera rather than connecting to wifi and it works great. (cat_romance)
In fact, he was told in no uncertain terms that yes, he and his wife were the asseholes for being annoyed and not accepting the couples perfectly reasonable explanation for not wanting to use the devices in their home and around their child.
YTA, and they are right. People hack those things all of the time and watch other people’s children. You can literally Google it. This is not a projection, but it IS protection. You and your wife suck. (Ok-Emu-9515)
YTA. They’re not over reacting to something that is harmless. I know it’s easy to feel safe and think bad things will never happen to ME, but bad things DO happen and not wanting to use a wifi monitor is such a small perfectly reasonable thing.
Same as not sharing pictures. Have you not seen the news reports of people using innocent children’s photos and using AI to make them disgusting? I also do not post photos of my daughter. It’s not worth it.
I know you shouldn’t live your life in fear, but you sound resentful that they’re being careful with things they know are very real. I don’t hear that they’re pushing it on you or forcing you to feel bad, but you sure sound like you’re taking it personally. Let them live their lives the way they chose to. (my-kind-of-crazy)
YTA, and I’m a former IT security person and I won’t have any wifi appliances in my house. It’s a major threat to your peace of mind. Also, you gave them a gift, and it’s not yours anymore. They are not overreacting. You are. Do please get over yourself. (voidtreemc)
Even with the security concerns aside, people didn’t think that the couple had any right to be angry about what happened to the gift after it was handed over.
YTA. They’re not comfortable with it. That should be the end of it. (salz78)
YTA They aren’t required to use any gifts they get. They’re right about baby monitors being hacked. It happens more often than people realize. You should look into this for the sake of your own child to know the risks. Your brother and SIL are at a higher risk due to their jobs. Drop this. You’re wrong. (Gadgetownsme)
Some people even suggested that the couple weren’t actually upset about the gift not being used. Rather, the issue boiled down to them taking it as a slight against their own parenting choices, as they themselves had not been aware or concerned about the risks of using such equipment around their own small children.
YTA…. Why is this causing tension? They aren’t wrong, and it’s honestly not a big deal that they didn’t like it. The point of a gift is to not expect anything in return. They’re probably already returned and exchanged them for something they DO use. And to reiterate, they are very correct about the risks you take with the devices you mention gifting. They haven’t insulted you, they are just making different informed choices as parents. If this is something you and your wife let cause tension, you need to grow up. This sounds like an inferiority complex thing of your part, and you’re interpreting this to be an attack on your parenting choices and capability. It shouldn’t be and it’s not, though if anyone is making the correct choice, I would trust the subject matter experts. (redrouge9996)
What do you think? Are the couple right to be annoyed that their gift isn’t being used? Should the gift recipients have communicated that they would not use the gift, or is it theirs to do as they wish with after it is handed over?