Sunshine, Lollipops and White Cabbage Butterflies - In Loving Memory of my Dad

Hooray! At last…the sun has got his hat on and is coming out to play! But I am feeling sentimental…

I sat today watching my three children playing together in the early morning sunshine. Splashing one another playfully in the paddling pool, running and jumping and giggling madly as they shared a joke that only they could understand. I felt content. I felt blessed to have such a wonderful little family.

Shooting a look at my mobile I registered the date. It would have been my Dad’s birthday today. It will be twelve years ago this July that he passed away after being hit by a car. I still miss him and it makes me sad sometimes that my children will never know him. I didn’t get the chance to share the most precious people in my life with him. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

A solitary tear ran down my cheek as I watched the three of them rolling in the grass without a care. A beautiful delicate cabbage white butterfly danced above them on the air. I smiled as I realised he is with me in all of them. Master Four has his wide mouth, full lips and soft nature. Master Two has his wild curls and strong cleft chin, and Little Miss One has his beautiful big blue eyes and his laugh.

Just for a second…just for the briefest of moments…I let myself believe that the white butterfly floating and fluttering above them, watching them frolicking happily in the summer sunshine, was my Dad.

Another butterfly flitted into the midst. Grandad Geoff maybe? Or Grandpa George?

I smiled through teary eyes.

Is it possible? Well, as a writer I live in a world where I often let my imagination roam wild – a world where anything is possible. So I’d have to answer in the affirmative.

Is it likely? The realist within me says, “nope, not a chance.”

All I know is that the idea of it brings me comfort. It’s a happy daydream that I’d like to share. And I am certain that I will never look at a cabbage white butterfly again without it bringing a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.

If tears could build a stairway
And memories a lane
I’d walk right up to heaven
And bring you home again

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only god knows why

My heart still aches with sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to love you
No one will ever know

But now I know you want me
To mourn for you no more
But, remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store

And since you’ll never be forgotten
I pledge to you today
A hollowed place within my heart
Is where you’ll always stay

-Anonymous