Tittooing: The Trendy Cosmetic Treatment for Perfecting Nipples

I’m sitting at the computer, as I do on a Thursday night whilst Hubby is absorbed in The Footy Show, web surfing, checking Facebook, reading different articles, and thinking about my next blog post, when completely by accident I landed on a story in The Daily Mail about a new craze sweeping the UK.

Now, we are all familiar with boob jobs, vajazzling, and designer vaginas. I even shared on my Facebook page a few weeks ago, my discovery of the G-Shot (whereby a collagen based filler is injected into the vagina into the G-Spot region to plump it up and increase sexual pleasure.) Personally, the very thought of it makes me whince and clamp my knees together, but I can see that, maybe in certain cases this might be life-changing for some women.

The latest new craze that is reported to be sweeping the UK, (or more specifically Liverpool) has left me dumbfounded, and is never something I would have even thought to have been self-conscious about.

After a quick self examination I decide to get a second opinion.

‘Hey honey,” I say to Hubbster who is now sprawled across the couch lost in pre-match gossip. “Are my nipples too pink?”

“Huh?” he asks looking up momentarily to give me that what-are-you-on about-now face.

I pull my breast out of my top to get his attention.

“Are my nipples too fair? Too pink?”

‘Nuh,” he answers looking back at the football with a confused look on his face.

“Well apparently the fashion is to have dark nipples!”

He tutts and shakes his head at me, like I have finally lost the plot.

Just as I thought. My nipples are pink. They are fair…but I’ve never had a vision in my head of how ‘perfect nipples’ are supposed to be, so I have never thought of them as unattractive.

Not so, it seems for the ladies of Liverpool who are paying up to 1200 pounds (approx. AU $1770) to have their areola darkened and perfected with semi-permanent tattooing. The effects last from 12-18 months with top-ups recommeneded to restore fading.

The 2 hour procedure which originated as a medical procedure for women who have undergone breast reconstruction after breast cancer to make their breast look more realistic, is apparently very straightforward. However, having the same procedure on existing nipples can apparently (as you’d expect) be more painful due to the sensitive nature of the skin around the nipples.

So there we have it. You might have Christian Louboutin shoes on your feet, a Chanel suit on your back and a Louis Vuitton handbag on your arm, but it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got nipple bling!