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Beware of Miracle Bum-Grow!

Beware of Miracle Bum-Grow

Wednesdays are my ‘special days’ with The Woo.  Foghorn and Bubble go to day care, and The Woo and I usually start the morning off with his speech therapy appointment, followed by a wander around a few shops, some chinese food for lunch and then a play in the park on the way home.

Unfortunately last week was pouring down so the park visit was totally out of the equation.  As we drove to The Woo’s speech appointment, the wipers sloshing the heavy rain from side to side off the windscreen, Woo asked, “Mummy?  Why don’t the trees have any leaves anymore?”

I explained about the seasons and how the leaves and flowers would start to grow back in the spring when the sun begins to get warmer.

He seemed happy enough with this explanation.

I turned the radio back up a notch in time to hear Adele belting out “We could have had it a-a-a-all, You had my heart and soul…”

“Mummy?  Why is it raining all the time?”

Really?  Really?  You want to have this conversation about weather when Adele is on?  I thought.

Slightly begrudgingly I turned the radio back down and managed a cheery reply to my inquisitive pre-schoolers 3 thousand-th question of the day.

Despite silently cursing the rain (and the frizzing effect it would no doubt have on my hair as soon as I stepped out of the car), I managed to rave for a full four minutes about how fantastic water is and how everything ‘in the whole wide world’ needs water to survive.  Fish and sea creatures live in it.  Animals and humans need to drink water to stay alive, and wash in it to stay clean and healthy.  And the plants and the trees, and the vegetables and fruit that we eat, all need water to grow.

“They will be growing very big today,” Woo contemplated looking out of the window at the grey sky and the big wet splotches hitting the window.

“Yes, mate they will.”

Later the same day, after our appointment with the speech therapist and our weekly pig-out session on special fried rice and sweet and sour chicken, we were getting back into the car.  As usual, The Woo fart-arsed around, picking up way-laid toys from the car floor before climbing into his car seat.

“Come on mate,” I urged sticking my head into the back of the car to keep my hair from getting any wetter and turning into a bouffant.

“I need to get you strapped in.  Just get into your seat please.  It is raining and my bum is getting wet, and it’s not very nice!”

“Sorry Mummy,” The Woo said suddenly sitting to attention so that I could clip his straps into place.  “I won’t make your bum grow anymore!”




Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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