Dad-To-Be Shows Up to his Daughter’s Birth With a Glass Fishbowl Lampshade on His Head
That’s one hell of a headline, isn’t it? One I certainly didn’t think I’d ever have the opportunity to write. But that day has arrived and here we are, chronicling the story of that time an anonymous man showed up to his daughter’s birth with his entire head stuck inside a glass fishbowl lampshade. How proud and quite frankly, utterly flummoxed his wife must be.
The sheepish new dad told his hilarious story over on Reddit, where all the best stories are told these days. Taking to the TIFU (Today I Fucked Up) sub, the dad, known only as u/–___throwaway___, explained how he came to his daughter’s birth in such a state.
There’s not really much back story apart from the fact that my daughter was a breech baby and wouldn’t turn. Due to various complications, we had opted for a planned C-section. The whole thing, in general, was just really bizarre, like, you pick your kid’s birthday just like that! Anyway, my wife and I tend to be goofy, fun-loving folk that’s always up for a laugh. We do a lot of silly things together to make each other laugh, though as with most men, I tend to meander into the dumber territory more often as you will soon hear.
On the day of the birth, just as we were about to leave for the hospital, I picked up this fishbowl style lampshade that we hadn’t yet put up and popped it onto my head because “we’re boldly going where neither of us have gone before”.
I just saw it on my way to the door and didn’t really think it through, so I immediately regretted this decision when my giant ears, my nose, and hair (got down to my ass length hair that was in a loose bun) ended up blocking my head in this thing and I couldn’t get it off. We tried for a bit, and my wife was understandably over it pretty quick because we were going to be late for our baby appointment, so I made the executive decision to not make the situation any more stressful than it should’ve been (too late) and to just drive to the hospital with this on my head and hope that someone at the hospital might have some idea what I should do.
As you can imagine, the car ride was a real mixed bag of emotions for us all.
We arrive, I do the walk of shame into the maternity ward with this bubble on my head holding my wife’s hand and there’s this older nurse who greeted us and I could see her dinner plate eyes just screaming “what the fuck…” and my wife jokingly said “….Yep! I’m having his baby!” to which literally all the midwives in the maternity ward that could see us walk up the corridor just start howling with laughter and whoever was not visible poked their heads around the corner to see this fucking spectacle. My wife was then ushered into a room where they monitored the baby and her. A nurse (who was this massive, buff tattooed dude, by the way, so imagine that) took me to another one of those inspection rooms and got the thing off with some sort of lube/gel.
Anyway, 4 hours later, we had a healthy baby and I got hazed by some of the older midwives. It was really good fun in the end. Wouldn’t recommend, but it definitely beats any other birth story I’ve heard AND broke the ice with most of the staff.
We can just tell that life will never be dull for this young family, that’s for sure!
What’s the dumbest thing your partner has ever done while you were about to have a baby? Does it beat this story?