If you clicked this link just to satisfy your curiosity over what the hell a ‘poop onion’ is, welcome to the club. I too was immediately sucked in when I recently read the intriguing term on a Reddit post. Well, let me tell you, you will not be disappointed you gave in and popped over here for a little sticky beak. This is one of those stories that makes you feel instantly normal in comparison, but also slightly nervous that people like this actually exist out there in the world. Grab yourself a cuppa or something and we’ll get stuck in…but you might want to hold off on eating anything just yet. You’ve been warned!
Honestly, I don’t even know where to start with this, so I’m just going to let the original poster fill you in on all the gory details.
AITA for feeding a “poop onion” to my future DIL? I(56m) have a good relationship with my son(26m) Jack but the girl he met in college that he has since proposed to is insane. She(25) Jill, is huge on alternative medicines and holistic mumbo-jumbo. She won’t even take aspirin and refuses to wear normal deodorant. One of the things she does is put halved onions in the bathroom, as she believes they trap odors and absorb toxins in the air. Sometimes she will even put them in her socks at night while she sleeps. Her general odor and onion practices weren’t a problem back when the two of them had their own place but their apartment flooded so they’ve been staying with me for a while.
My house is a two bedroom which only has one bathroom. Never thought the one bathroom thing would be an issue. Boy was I wrong. Jill has laid an onion siege on the bathroom. There’s one on top of the toilet, in the shower, by the sink, and she mentioned putting one in the towel cabinet too.
I’ve tried talking to Jack about it and all he said was “you get used to it, it’s good for your health”. He doesn’t even like onions!
If you are wondering why on earth this woman is covering her future father-in-laws home with cut onions apparently she believes they clean the air, or something!
I’ve asked Jill to stop the onion invasion to which she would say something about how “it’s a spiritual thing” or “it doesn’t feel clean to breathe in the house without them”. I even offered to purchase an air purifier, but no dice. I’ve tried throwing them away a but then she would pitch a wobbly and go buy, cut, and replace them. Aside from being gross and weird it’s also expensive and wasteful.
So, thus far it seems that Jill has completely commandeered the man’s home despite being a guset there, and has pointedly ignored his requests for the onion-related madness to stop. At this stage, if it realyl was as unbearable as he says – and we can well believe it was, he probably should have asked them to leave. However, obviously completely over the situation he found himself in, he made a split-second decision that changed everything. Buckle up, it’s about to get gnarly!
Fast forward to last Thursday. I had just gotten off work. Jack and Jill were watching a movie in the living room. I decided to make burgers. Went grocery shopping the day before so we were fully stocked.
Or so I thought. When I went to grab an onion for the burgers I saw all my onions were gone. That’s when I noticed, the coffee table, bookshelf, TV stand, and kitchen table all had cut onions on them!
I was livid, about to start yelling, but then I had an idea. I went to the bathroom and grabbed the toilet onion. I cut them up and placed them on her burger and watched as she took a bite. She ate almost the whole thing before she left to use the bathroom, dropping the plate off in the kitchen on the way.
Jill stepped out of the bathroom and politely asked where the toilet onion was. I didn’t say anything. I just gestured over to the nearly finished burger on her plate. I can’t tell you the shock that spread across her face. She started crying and screaming “you made me eat POOP ONIONS?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
Jack came around the corner to see what was going on and upon hearing what I did told me that I’m an asshole and that I went too far. He took her to their bedroom so she could calm down then without saying another word to me they both left with some clothes.
They stayed at a friends place till Sunday morning when they came home. It’s Monday and they still aren’t talking to me. So Reddit, AITA for feeding my future DIL a poop onion
As you might expect, the comment section did not disappoint.
“You made me eat POOP ONIONS?!,” joked one commenter. “It’s OK; they’re spiritual.”
Many people thought the whole thing was hilarious, and that the clueless, selfish woman only had herself to blame.
ESH but that’s fucking hilarious.
Obviously, the non asshole move is to use any other onion. But, when you’re being disrespected in your home and the food you spend your money on is being wasted, sometimes you get vindictive.
DIL is the bigger asshole and largely deserved the poop onion. (Old-Smokey-42069)
NTA, when you couch surf you don’t come with your “onions” to your host. You keep clean, quiet and try not to impose. Also, you don’t steal host’s food to cut it up and place around the house. They need to pack their “onions” and leave. You son is free to get used to it someplace else coz it was his choice to pick this girl, not yours (k_Yesterday_6214)
I think you might be T-A but this is internet gold, imo, so I’m gonna say NTA and I am so glad I’m home sick to have read this today!!! Thank you for the laughs and may your DIL do better in the future as a houseguest!
Play shitty games win shitty prizes. (shalarean)
Tell them to get the hell out and give them a 10lb bag of onions as a parting gift. – NTA (Me_ThinksNot)
Others were horrified by the man’s actions and let him know in no uncertain terms that he was indeed an asshole for feeding his future daughter in law poop onions. (Sorry, I just wanted to say poop onions again!)
Believe it or not, I really do think YTA. It just seems incredibly unsanitary to me to serve someone food that has been living in a bathroom for however long.
And I have to say, I have no idea why you put up with this. The first time I saw the onions, I would have asked the DIL to stop. The second time I saw them, I would have insisted she stop. If she refused, I would have invited them to seek accommodation elsewhere. (Leading_Cup_4309)
You fed her food that was knowingly exposed to fecal matter of 3 different people. Wtf you really wrote all that out and are asking this? (peyotepancakes)
YTA. You know damn well that onion has fecal matter on it. That is absolutely disgusting.
Somehow you managed to out crazy the woman that puts onions all over the house. Find other ways to enforce rules in your home. Non-crazy, rational adult ways. (toxicenabler)
Some people thought that he could have made her think she’d eaten the toilet onion, but actually switched it out for a more sanitary one just to teach her a lesson. But thought that actually using the toilet onion was unforgivable.
YTA. Your DIL is absolutely an AH, but you even more so, for the sheer unsanitaryness of what you did.
You could have easily hidden the toilet onion, and then proceed as you did, but secretly use a proper onion in the burger. After the “reveal” that her onion was the toilet one (and her subsequent shock), you’d show the real toilet onion, and tell her that next time you might just use the toilet one.
I’d personally say that last part half-joking and hope the scare taught her a lesson. Would ask them to move out if the behavior continued after that, since fecal matter in food, however little, is absolutely going too far, no matter how much of a loonie your DIL is. (Tozemamel)
Where do you stand on the poop onion debate?