Where do you stand when it comes to using the bathroom at the same time as your significant other? Some couples are totally comfortable popping in for a wee while their partner is brushing their teeth, whilst others prefer to use the toilet in private. One guy, who has recently moved into his girlfriend’s apartment expressed his discomfort with her going for a wee when he was in the shower. But instead of listening to him and accepting his boundary, she cranked the bathroom-hijacking up to a whole new level!
Never thought my life would come to this, but here we are. Me (M24) and my GF Rachel (F26) have moved in together after about a year and a half of dating. We’ve been moved in for two weeks.
I was living with my parents and saving money from my first job, while she had an apartment snce she’d been working longer. I was reluctant to move into an apartment with a SO that wasn’t ‘mine,’ but we are really compatible and I figured it would work.
And it has, with one exception. Rachel keeps on using the toilet when I am in the shower, or when I am shaving, brushing my teeth, anything else in the bathroom.
The first time, she came into pee while I was shaving. I was a bit uncomfortable and asked what she was doing, but shook it off since it was the first time and she hasn’t done it before. But over the next few days, she kept coming in to pee while I was already in there. I told her I didn’t like it, but she accused me of being immature about a natural bodily function.
Well, shit hit the fan last night. I was showering after a long day of work when Rachel came in. I expected her to pee and be out quickly, but it became very audibly (and nostril-ly) apparent that it was a number two. And a very long… wet one. There’s no way not to be gross here. I started yelling from the shower about how gross it was to do this while I am in there. She accused me again of being immature and told me to spend the night at my parents’. All while shitting her brains out.
My real frustration is that our place has 1.5 bathrooms. The half bathroom has a toilet and a sink. She could easily go in there, but says she lived here first and wants to use the master.
AITA? I told two friends. One (a guy) said to suck it up, but my best female friend agreed this was weird and said it wasn’t a gender thing. I’m lost here.
A lot of people started out thinking that maybe he was making a fuss over nothing…but quickly changed their tune.
I was on her side until she started shitting. That’s too far (MyFriendsCallMeNova)
I was very close to saying N A H. Everyone has their comfort zone when it comes to the bathroom. She is more open and free about it, and you prefer privacy for bodily functions. Neither of you is wrong about it.
But she became the AH when you expressed your discomfort about using the toilet in front of each other and she disregarded your feelings and preferences. This is especially true because there is another toilet for her to use, so it’s disrespectful to you. (Tatersprout)
No, you’re not the asshole. A lot of people in relationships would not be okay with their SO coming in to use the restroom while they are in there. Some couples are very chill and relaxed about it, but when it comes down to it, it’s all about the comfort of the individuals.
You are not comfortable with it and you shouldn’t be belittled because of that. She is in the wrong to repeatedly put you into uncomfortable situations and then berate you afterward about it. You should think of sitting down to have a serious discussion with her explaining that you don’t want her to invade that space, it’s uncomfortable for you, and she should respect that. If you come at her from a more serious discussion, she might come to understand that it is a boundary she needs to respect and she’ll be okay with that. If she isn’t, then that is a bad trait of hers. She should have more respect for her partner’s boundaries. (Ooaineoo)
People were shocked and disgusted that she would defecate with her boyfriend in the room!
Yeah. Taking a shit when someone is showering is absolutely disgusting. The steam from the shower makes the smell worse and makes it linger far longer. OP’s girlfriend honestly sounds like she’s trying to mark her territory and prove that it’s her place, not their place. (CreditUpstairs7621)
Others were incredulous that she’d do this when there was a second toilet that she could have used instead!
NTA. I personally don’t mind sharing if it’s just a wee. But a #2 is a bit much, again, would have understood if it was urgent, and she’d given you a warning so you could have chosen to leave. In saying that, super weird with there being a second toilet, completely unnecessary to have used the master while you were showering. (next_Dingo_4768)
This whole story would have been gross even if there’d be just one bathroom. Her accusations of you being immature are offensive. Worse even since she obviously never matured to the point where she learned to hold it back for some minutes (something most of us had to achieve in elementary school).
But pulling off one gross stunt after another while having a second bathroom with a toilet in it, is beyond weird. It is batshit crazy …. or in that case: girlfriendshit crazy.
That is not a matter of a lack of potty training. This girl has issues. You can’t tell me, this is her one single bad habbit. (Very-last-boyscout)
NTA!!! Totally gross. My husband and I will sometimes pee in front of each other. But we’ve been together 20 years and have never taken a dump while the other one was in the bathroom.
I would maybe give her a pass if it was an emergency, but you have an extra bathroom!! She’s being weird. (justloriinky)
Others thought that it was a serious breach of privacy.
NTA. What your SO is doing is just flat out strange and creepy. She is breaching your privacy. Nothing can excuse this behaviour, what is wrong with her? Her coming in the bathroom, whilst you’re taking a shower, and taking a dump in the toilet is just idiotic behaviour, especially since there’s another bathroom in the area. I think you should have a deep conversation with her about your feelings about her issues, and if she keeps saying that you’re immature then I really don’t think your relationship will work out in the long run imo. The ironic thing is she’s telling YOU that you’re immature, when SHE’S the one who keeps invading your privacy. This is wrong on so many levels. (Curious-Month7727)
What do you think? Could you ever poop in front of your partner?