An expectant mum has taken to the internet for advice and support after her mother-in-law pulled a prank at her gender reveal party. Whilst it’s unclear whether the older woman’s intentions were misguided or malicious, her son’s wife was left heartbroken and confused.
I’ll try to make this short. I have 2 children (both boys).. I’m currently pregnant with my 4th after a loss. My mil offered to be the gender keeper. She got the confetti cannons.. this is my last pregnancy so I wanted to do a small reveal with close family and friends. My last was during covid and we had to skip all the cutsie things… I have 2 boys and of course would adore a little girl .. I would also be happy keeping my boy mom crown ! . but damn a little girl would just be so freaking sweet. We get to the cannons. Mil hands us both a cannon. Husband gets his to go first and all I see is pink confetti.. the sweetest surprise… my life with a daughter flashing in my mind.. hugging my husband.. tears shed .. I was shaking happy.. (I’m always very calm and collected when I’m excited).. my mom crying happy for me.. this is the biggest best surprise I’ve ever had. I was expecting a 3rd boy.
But soon after celebrating, my mil interrupts. Telling me I have to do mine too. I was so excited to see the pink confetti from my husbands that I never set mine off. I am assuming it’s also pink.. because I’m not having twins. But instead it’s blue.. I instantly regret my initial ecstatic response. Why are there both colors now? .. she then hands us the ‘ real’ cannons.. and they both pop blue. Of course I can’t match my previous energy. I hugged my husband and people around me and excused myself. And I cried. And i haven’t really stopped for hours now … Don’t get me wrong.. I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to have any children and i know health is number 1…. That isn’t lost on me.
But it’s as if I had this space in time where my dream of a daughter came true.. and i experienced the joy of having a girl join my crazy boy filled family… and now I’m grieving that.
I know I’ll love my son with all my heart and I am not upset he’s a boy at all.. it’s just the Rollercoaster to find out who he was.. broke my heart today. I feel like a Jerk for being so upset.. but all this happened in front of an audience.. I’m so embarrassed.. & this happy video taken of the reveal isn’t even real. It’s a moment in time I got my heart broken.
I don’t understand the humor even if everything had gone according to plan ?.. what was the point? I didn’t find the humor.. or what the end goal was. Aitah for being upset??
People were dumbfounded by the mother-in-law’s idea of a joke, with one user quipping ‘Your MIL is the stupidest person on the planet.”
Another person added “It’s only funny when the actual parents are doing the fake outs. You don’t give the expecting mother one news and then change it, because it can fail badly, like ~IT DID HERE!~ MIL is a fool.”
Other people wondered if it was an intentional power play move by the mother-in-law, with one commenter sharing the insight that ‘unfunny jokes are a sadistic form of control and disrespect.”
NTA I don’t even care about gender reveals and find it kinda an odd concept generally bc like I am always internally like “oh cool! Your baby has … this type of genitalia”.
But like you just go along and be happy bc it makes the couple happy.
You definitely DO NOT FUCK WITH IT BY MAKING A ‘JOKE’ THAT ISNT IN ANY WAY AN ACTUAL JOKE.
And in front of other people?! Like… what the actual fuck to your MIL.
I really struggle to see how this could be anything but intentionally cruel… bc why else would you do it in front of people and to someone who is already tired and pumped full of hormones from growing your entire grandchild?! (Escarlatilla)
NTA. That was cruel.
Also, for the record it’s perfectly normal to be disappointed. Until you know for sure, you have both a girl and a boy. You lose one the minute you find out. You can be thrilled for the one you have, and still be sad for the one you lost. (the-hound-abides)
NTA. Incredibly awful “joke,” especially after a loss. You weren’t upset about the gender, you were upset about the “prank.”
Take care of yourself, mama ❤️ (theabozeman)
NTA, in a matter of seconds you had a baby girl, pictured your life with her and then lost her. As someone who’s been through pregnancy loss I know how instantly you can picture that baby and your whole life together as a family. Your MIL might just be an idiot but she gave you that only for you to now have to grieve that picture you’ve lost. I’m so sorry, I hope you have support from your husband to help, it hits like a gut punch. (Pale-Procedure895)
But, not everyone thought that the mother-in-law had ill-intent.
It was really dumb but I think she was expecting for them to set them both off at the same time and then there wouldn’t be this fake out. I think she thought “oh they’ll set them off together, they’ll be blue and pink and they’ll be slightly confused and then they do the real one together.” I’m not saying it wasn’t stupid, but I don’t think she was trying to be a sneaky bitch like most of the comments think. (teslavictory)
A GOOD version of this prank would have been an unexpected color like green, then MIL being like “Oops, that was for the plant reveal tomorrow” with the actual confetti shooters. (Shady Scientist)
I’m sorry, but that was either an intentionally cruel or wildly stupid choice from your MIL. (The non-Reddit part of me leans towards Option 2) Because honestly, how else could that have really gone? You do the “reveal”, you react, and now you…do it again? You had a real reaction to a fake situation, there’s nothing left emotionally-speaking (aside from feeling like the rug’s been ripped from underneath you).
I’m really sorry you had to go through that, and with an audience to boot. Give yourself some credit, you handled it as gracefully as possible (you didn’t flip any tables or cuss anyone out, right?). I’m going to remind you of something you likely already know: go ahead and feel your feelings all the way through to the other side. Trying to tamp them down is going to make them fight back even harder (ie, trying and failing to stop crying because “you shouldn’t” be upset).NTA. I’m very sorry you went through such an emotional ordeal and had your true reaction taken from you. I hope you have a healthy, easy pregnancy and delivery. The newest little bean is going to be in very capable and loving hands. (pheonixjen8)
What do you think? Was the MIL being vindictive or did she think it would be a well-received joke?