My (45F) daughter (14F), I’ll call her Brylee) has been babysitting her 2 year old little sister as a “summer job”. She tried to find a job, but every place around us hires at 16. She earns between $10-$15 a day, works Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays 8-4PM. Shes trying to earn money to buy this piece of gymnastics equipment shes wanted for years, which is almost $600

Lately, since she has been earning money, I have been making her pay for things. She has been inconsiderate and eating a lot lately. (She is 5’5.5, 96 lbs, and has a fast metabolism and is always hungry). When she eats her younger siblings snacks, or eats a lot of something that was supposed to be shared, like drinks, etc, I will make her pay for a replacement. that has kind of delayed her from getting her equipment, and because of our summer trips.

2 or 3 months ago, I got an email from our local library saying we had overdue books. We went and found out Brylee had damaged a book and lost 2 others. I told her she would have to use her money to pay for them and she was sad but understood she needed consequences for her actions. I wasnt able to pay that day because I had to wait for my next paycheck. I wasnt able to go for a long time because of work, my children’s activities, chores etc. Its hard being able to do things with 4 kids in the house, so i couldnt make time for the library.

Monday last week, she earned enough, but I told her to wait for my next paycheck. we had just helped her brother move into college. the paycheck comes Friday. I told her we would be going to the Library this week.

We went to the library yesterday and they informed us that since it had been months, there would be a late fee. Without the fee, Brylee’s total would’ve been $30, and she still would’ve had enough to buy her equipment on Friday since she had still worked the rest of the week and Monday this week. but they added a $40 fee, making the total $70 which i thought was ridiculous. I wasnt told there would be a late fee

In the car, Brylee was talking about how happy she was to buy her equipment. I told her with the late fee she wouldnt be able to get it until next week. Brylee got angry and said it wasnt her fault i didnt take her in time so she shouldn’t have had to pay the late fee. I told her she lost the books so she has to pay the price for them.

Now she wont talk to me. Im confused, she just has to work until next week and then she can get her equipment, and even though i pointed this out to her, she is still angry. She wasn’t responsible with books that weren’t her property, so she has to pay the price that they gave us. My ex husband tells me i am being unreasonable, she is only 14 and shouldnt be paying for this. He says I am making her goal harder to reach by making her pay for things, especially the book fee. My sister is telling i shouldnt have made her pay the late fee, just the book fee. I dont understand why, so I am looking for an outside view.