A parent has taken to the popular Sub-Reddit Parenting to vent, rant, share their concern and their anger with other parents out there. After hiring a babysitter from a website, doing background checks, making sure they’re clean and have all the correct qualifications, you name it. Despite a clean history, great track record and everything looking great on their CV, this babysitter decided that they were going to take the 3 year old out to a community park across town… WITHOUT A CAR SEAT!

I just genuinely… don’t understand. I really don’t.

I found this woman on Care.com. Background check was clean (and yes, I paid for the extras), had extensive childcare qualifications, checked all the right boxes.

As time went on, things just got … weird? My husband and I were actually looking to replace her before this happened but this was the nail in the coffin (almost literally).

I got a text from her yesterday afternoon saying she and my 3 year old son were at a “community park” but she was going to take him to the lake ACROSS TOWN. We had never discussed her driving him anywhere, because there’s a lot of parks within walking distance (less than 1/2 mile) and I work 3 minutes from home, so close by if an emergency occurred. We’ve only been using her for a few weeks, so I wasn’t all that comfortable with her driving him anyway.

—— EDIT: my son is special-needs. We’re getting him evaluated for ASD vs ADHD vs ODD. He is a flight risk and has escaped twice before, so no, she wasn’t allowed to take him anywhere off of the apartment grounds. The neighborhood we live in has 13 miles of walking trails plus multiple community parks accessible by said trails, and we live in a sweet spot where you can access 2 parks within a 1/2 mile. One of them has a rather large lake with a big playground. There’s no reason she should have wanted to take him across town to a very high traffic area, especially since she said she wanted to go “where the water is.” There’s water a 1/2 mile from home. ——

So anyway, she texts me that she’s going to take him to the lake across town. My first thought was “how the heck do you plan to do that?” I asked if she had a car seat and she said no, she wanted to talk to me about that. Even if she had permission to take him somewhere, I wasn’t in a position to leave work at that moment just to bring her my car seat, so I told her the lake would have to wait. Then she went radio silent. And I got a bad feeling.

I tried to shove it down, tried to ignore it as hard as I could. I fought the feeling for probably 20 minutes and tried to tell myself there’s no way she would be stupid enough to do it anyway. But when I realized I was crying from high anxiety, I ran for my car and headed home. Her car wasn’t in the parking lot anywhere that I could see. I immediately called her, no answer. Called again, no answer. Texted, no answer.

Called my husband in a panic because my child was GONE and I knew for a fact he wasn’t safe in this woman’s car. I started driving around to the parks near our apartment and could not find her car at any of them. Circled back around and retraced my steps — all while sobbing on the phone to my husband — and FINALLY, after several illegal u-turns in the road and running a few red lights, I found her car parked in a lot. She was in the front seat on the phone, my son was loose in the backseat. No car seat, no booster seat even. Just no restraint at all.

I knocked on the driver’s window and got a weak glance from her. She didn’t even bother to hang up her phone to have a conversation, just gave me a damn GLANCE. I snatched the back door open, grabbed my kid, and tore out of the parking lot so fast my head was spinning. And this girl FOLLOWED ME HOME! She said she “thought it would be okay since traffic wasn’t bad.”

NO CAR SEAT, NO CAR. PERIOD.

But but but.

NO CAR SEAT, NO CAR.

But but but.

Told her to get her stuff and get out, and never come back. Blocked her from my phone, reported her through Care.com and got the notification today that they shut down her account and banned her from the platform.

The “what ifs” are haunting me and my husband. She had already left home with my child, without a car seat, Lord-knows-how-long before ever even texting me. She didn’t ask if it was okay to bring him anywhere, much less DRIVE him WITHOUT A CARSEAT. And her text about bringing him to the lake was more “this is what my plan is” rather than “hey, is this okay?”

Counting my blessings nothing happened. Trying to put the “what ifs” out of my mind. Realizing I should’ve filed a police report.

The babysitter messaged the parent saying she’s going to take the 3 year old to a park across town because it has a lake, and when the mother responded back asking “how will you do that? Do you have a car seat?” the nanny responded with “no, I was going to talk to you about that”. It’s important to note that the parents didn’t give any permission to take their child off the apartment grounds, especially since their child is currently being evaluated for ASD, ADHD and ODD.

The safety of our children should never be compromised, especially by someone we’re trusting to take care of them and paying to take care of them. It doesn’t matter if “traffic is light”. When a child’s safety and life is at risk, a park and a lake are very insignificant. The babysitter should’ve stayed home and done what’s best for the child in their care, not completely disregarded the rules and taken them in a car where, if they got into an accident, something very serious could’ve occurred.

Not only did this babysitter break the law, they didn’t even tell the parent about it. They went silent once they heard a “no”. They stopped communicating and left the parent with a bad feeling in their stomach. The parents spidey senses were going off, and for good reason! Understandably, the mother decided that she was going to kick this babysitter out, block her number and report her for misconduct. The website that the parents hired the babysitter from took this very seriously and ended up shutting down the babysitters account and banning her from the platform. Is this punishment enough, or should she have been reported to police as well?

Commenters were quick to point out that the babysitter may have had other reasons to be at the lake.

It’s super weird that she risked your child’s safety and her job just to take him to the lake across town. It makes me wonder if she had ulterior motives for wanting to be there. – @fan_of_no_plans

That thought popped in my head this afternoon. I feel like she was meeting someone there. – 7xbt78gg

Meeting someone or picking up something. Normal people don’t risk jobs and kids to go to a lake. But they do if they are addicts and the lake is where they can get their fix. I am so, so happy for you that you found your son and that he is safe. – @MrsLeeCorso

This pains me so so much. We as mothers and women constantly have to struggle with being called dramatic all the time. Our choices scrutinized, doubted, minimized.

And we then do it to ourselves. And that causes such anxiety, that constant struggle of “is this really happening or am I being dramatic?” Another added layer of mental detritus that we have to compartmentalize in high stress and emergency situations.

I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you can find a trusting nanny in the future, and to remember that you know your child, and you know yourself. – @gatamosa

What would you have done if you were in this mother’s position?