A woman has turned to the internet to ask for advice after her daughter-in-law and son asked her to fly to their state after the birth of their first child and take over all of the household chores for a few weeks so that the new mum could recover. Initially, she agreed and even booked the time off work but things turned sour when her daughter-in-law told her that despite having the room in their home, they expected her to stay at a hotel.

My son married Sierra (fake names) and they live two states over. Sierra is from a culture where it is customary after she gives birth she will not do any household chores. The family members ( mostly women) will go over and do all those chores. So cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. She explained this to me and it happens for a few weeks after the birth.
She is not close to her family and it was asked of me to come up for a few weeks and do this. My son will be back on call a week and a half after she gives birth.
She is suppose to give birth in about a month and I was talking about logistics of the whole thing. I asked where I would sleep and she informed me that I will need to get a hotel. This shocked me since they own a nice home.
I thought it over and decided I do not want to do this. I was already going to be doing them a huge favor by being a live in maid. I was going to use all my PTO for this and now I will have to also live in a hotel. This isn’t even a culture I am a part of.
I informed her that I will not be able to come up for the time she wanted if I have to stay in a hotel. I am willing to come up for a weekend at most if I can not stay in their home.
I got a call from my son and he is pissed. He told me that Sierra has been crying since and that I am being a dick. That I am disrespecting her culture and rejecting her from the family. That he knows I could afford this ( I could but I don’t want to pay thousand of dollars to be a maid)
We got into an argument. I explained my points about but he wasn’t having it.
AITA?

As we know, mother-in-laws often get a bad rap in Reddit posts, but not in this case. Commenters were supportive of her decision to change her mind and not go.

Whilst the couple is within their rights not to want to have guests in their home during the postpartum period whilst they get to know their new baby, people thought that it was rude and entitled of them to expect his mother to pay for the privilege of being a maid for them. The overall consensus was that the expectant mum was picking out the parts of her culture that best suited her.

NTA
So, I am familiar with variations of this tradition in a number of cultures, actually. My (passing, this is not my culture) exposure to it has been about pampering the new mom and ensuring she has lots of rest and bonding time and it’s a very communal based thing, where families live nearby (possibly together) and there’s also aspects of knowledge sharing from elder women to the new mom. I have never heard of a hotel stay being a part of this “tradition” lol. This sounds like cherry picking of a tradition that undermines what it is valuable about it to reduce it to you being a maid and spending a lot of money for the opportunity (/s). (Even_budget2078)

NTA Your son and daughter in law want you to travel, use all your PTO and pay for and stay in a hotel because culturally the your daughter in law needs to be waited on hand and foot after giving birth? Oh, heck, no. I was lucky. My mother and mother in law worked out a schedule to drop of meals or some groceries and pop by so I could take a shower after I gave birth. And I was beyond grateful. Your son’s and daughter in law’s request is over the top. You son needs to look into the parental leave policies at his employer and take off additional time if his wife needs assistance. (Peony-Pony)

At the very least, people thought that the couple should foot the bill for flights and accommodation if they expected such a huge favour from her.

NTA
They are very rude to expect you to pay for a hotel and come be their maid for weeks. It doesn’t really matter what her culture is when it interferes with your own life. They have no right to make demands like this on you.
I think it’s really selfish and entitled to expect this of you. Your son can take care of his own home and his wife if he wants to honour her culture. It shouldn’t involve you. (Tatersprout)

Hell no, you are not the AH. Sierra and your son both are tho.
To expect you to spend money on a hotel for a month while essentially being a full-time maid as well is ridiculous and highly disrespectful of you.
Respect is a two way street, and family doesn’t treat family like that, especially when they’ve got their hand out asking for a major favor.
Stand your ground OP. At the very least, I’d tell them fine, if you want me in a hotel, you pay for it, and I won’t stay in a dump. (Afraid_Temperature65)

What do you think? Should she refuse to go, or suck it up for the sake of her relationship with her son and grandchild?