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“My Family Hate the Name We’ve Chosen for Our Baby and are Threatening to Refer to Him as “It” Instead!”

One thing that I noticed very early on in my first pregnancy was that when discussing potential names for my baby EVERYONE thought that they had a right to share their opinion on it. “Urgh! Really? I hate that name! What about…?” It was infuriating! Consequently, my husband and I decided to keep the name, when we finally settled on one we both liked, just between ourselves until the baby was born. It’s something I was adamant about, and we did this with each subsequent pregnancy. When my sister became pregnant a few years ago I advised her to do the same, explaining to her that people, friends, family and even strangers, would say awful things about the names she liked before the baby was born, but would magically shut their cake-holes and keep their unwanted opinions to themselves if the name was announced after the baby was born. It’s the best and only piece of unsolicited advice I give to expectant mums.

Sadly, one pregnant mum has learned the hard way not to share her baby’s name until after they are born. But rather than just expressing a dislike for the name, her father said he’ll just refer to his grandson as ‘it’ if he is given the chosen name, and her mother is making a list of names to choose from instead that they find acceptable!

I am expecting my first child in July and am very excited! Me and my fiancé had both a girl and boy name we were very happy with and loved UNTIL We found we were having a baby boy.

After everyone found out we were having a boy they were insisting on knowing what name we had picked out we decided to let close relatives that were asking constantly the name we had chosen and were met with extreme criticism saying our child will be bullied and even my father going as far as saying he would refuse to call the baby by the name we chose and instead call him and “it” and just call him another name he had chosen and my mother taking it into her own hands to find names that she said she would find “acceptable.”


It had gotten to the point where I even felt guilty for picking the name and was looking at other more traditional names to keep them happy I enjoy the other names we have chosen but to me they are just backups and I loved the original name we had chosen much better i still want to name our boy the name we intended but the fall out of doing so seems like so much hassle and will just cause so much unnecessary drama and problems.

My parents heard my back up names and have been referring to him as such since then but it just feels wrong since me and my fiancé loved the name so much. My fiancé disagreed with me and said he still intends on naming him the original name we had planned out i really want to but am honestly scared about the fall out.

So WIBTA if I named my baby the name we originally intended even if my family thinks otherwise?

EDIT: to those wondering the original name we chose was Silas.

Going by her family’s reaction, commenters were surprised to hear the planned name was Silas, and not some other strange name with a bizarre made up spelling.

Oh Silas, I was expecting something awful. That’s a cute name. Why would a child be bullied for that name? NTA! (Still-Preference5464)

NTA. Silas is a beautiful name!! And whomever calls him otherwise once he’s born, should not be allowed around him, imo. You and your fiance are the parents, so you choose the name, nobody else!! (Animallover1970)

NTA. It’s not like Silas is a tradgdeigh name. It is a lovely name.

NTA. Silas is a fine name. (Live_Western_1389)


YWNBTA. I’m confused why your family hates it so much. I’ve known several dudes named Silas, and they never got made fun of for their name…they were both very popular people actually. (sora_tofu)

Others shared similar stories of interfering relatives, but ultimately advised the expectant mum to stick to her guns, and not be bullied.

I had my little boy earlier this year and my husband’s gran hated the name and tried desperately to have us change our minds. A couple of other people, like 2 of my BILs, kept telling my husband we should pick something more Scottish (he’s Scottish, I’m not).

We just smiled, kept a united front and said ‘it’s what we’ve decided’. Now he’s here very few people have an issue with the name, and loads of people tell me it’s lovely. Stick to your guns and call him Silas. (eternal_entropy)

Some commenters pointed out to the soon-to-be new mum that this was just the start of people having opinions about her parenting choices, and that it’s important that she and her partner establish boundaries with pushy relatives.

NTA. Silas is one of my favourite names. I do find it worrying when people who are about to be responsible for a whole other human are so concerned about what other people think. You & your husband like the name & it is an actual established name so name YOUR baby what you like. Id say the chances are once you stand firm & start referring to bump as that then most everyone will just have to accept it. (usedtofall77)


It’s your baby. Name him exactly what you want. Screw those people. It’s not like you’re naming him, Lawnmower. It’s a great name you’ve both chose. More importantly, it’s none of their business. You need to start being strong now or other people will never stop trying to change your parenting. You can do this. Your baby deserves it. (mrschris7)

One person, echoed my own thoughts and suggested that other pregnant women, and those planning a family in the future heed this story as a warning.

I think this can serve as a cautionary tale to reinforce to all expectant mothers/couples: Keep your baby’s name just between yourselves & don’t announce it ahead of time. Too many times, the grandparents, aunts, uncles and even the neighbours think that they also have a vote in naming the baby, and that’s just not true.

What do you think? Did you share your baby’s name with loved ones during your pregnancy, or keep it a secret until after they were born?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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