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“My Husband Lied and Said He Had to Work on Valentine’s Day, So That He Could Take His Mum Out for Lunch!”

A new mum has been left furious after discovering that her husband had lied to her about having to work on Valentine’s Day and had instead taken his mother out for lunch. This alone would be bad enough, but the whole situation was made worse by the fact that the couple had recently agreed to go no contact with his mum after she’d slapped their 6-month-old baby!

My husband (31) told me last night that his boss asked him to pick up an extra shift today because of short staffing. He said “I’m really sorry I have to work on Valentine’s Day”. It did bother me but it is what it is. We don’t do anything over the top for Valentine’s Day anyways. We just have movies and cuddle and whatever. But this year is different. We have a 6mo daughter. So it did bother me but I just let it go. His work schedule is 10am to 8pm. He has worked at the same company for 9 years and his schedule has never changed and neither has his break time. I want to point this out ahead of time.

So my vehicle was at the shop and it wasn’t due to be done until the 16th but he finished up today and gave me a call around 11. So I walked with my daughter to go collect my vehicle (1/4 mile, nothing big). After I grab the vehicle, I go to the gas station, which has a small restaurant inside. To my surprise, I see my husband’s truck. Now, he works 45 minutes in the opposite direction so even if it was his lunch break (which it wasn’t), he wouldn’t have been able to make it to this restaurant. I go inside and find him sitting at the table with his mom. Now.. this shouldn’t be a big issue BUT him and I had just agreed to go bo contact with this woman a month ago because she physically slapped my daughter in the face and left a red mark because my daughter (who is again, 6mo) bite down on her arm and she was cutting teeth. So I walked up to the table and asked him how work was going and he stood up and told me “I’m sorry, I just wanted to have lunch with my mom for Valentine’s day”. So I said “you want to have lunch with the witch who slapped your infant daughter across your face? Go ahead and have your lunch but do not come home. Go stay with mommy.” There was 2 other couples sitting close by who started shooting daggers at him at his mom and one of them gasped and said “omg” while giving my MIL dirty looks. (Supposedly, I didn’t see it but this is what my husband texted me afterwards)


He followed me out to my vehicle as I was walking off and said “it’s not like I’m allowing her around our daughter. I shouldn’t have even had to lie to you about having lunch with my mother to begin with. All of this is fucking pathetic and then for you to embarrass me in front of the entire restaurant?” So I said “I’d be more embarrassed that you’re hanging out with a child abuser but to each their own” and get in my vehicle and leave. I then went on to the joint bank account and froze it after seeing a $400 purchase from his mothers favorite store (an antique shop, so he clearly brought her shopping as well). I turned it off because more than half of that is my money (I work full time as well and make $9 more an hr than he does). Anyways, I call my friend because I’m just fuming at this point because he made the agreement to go no contact with this woman and then he ditches me and his daughter on Valentine’s Day with a lie about working, just to hang out with her. But my friend says I’m being the overdramatic one and that I should have just left it alone and confronted him in private. AITA?


eta: when she slapped my daughter, I ended up leaving with my baby. She picked a fight with me when I told her to get out and therefore I left instead because she wasn’t listening to me or my husband tell her to leave. HE said he called the cops and they took a statement and later stated that it was word of mouth and they weren’t pursuing it. I now have my doubts about him ever calling the cops.

Wow! That’s a lot to unpack, right?

Needless to say, NOBODY thought that the mum had done anything wrong in this situation.

This is more than just ‘lunch’ with his mom. He had to fill the hours between 9 am (leaving home for the 45 min drive to work) and 9 pm (including the 45 min drive home) somehow. So he is continuing to lie to you.

NTA. Why would he think he deserves ‘consideration’? (facinationstreet)


NTA first of all it is Valentine’s Day not Mother’s Day & is completely inappropriate to ditch your wife for your mother. Secondly go open an account only in your name for your paycheck & meet with a lawyer. (dncrmom)

Hell given the circumstances of why OP wanted to go NC with MIL, even if it WAS mother’s day it would still be inappropriate for him to have arranged this little secret rendezvous with his mom. (Sita418)

Commenters thought that his actions were indicative of who he really prioritises.

NTA. Shame on him! She hit a freaking baby. Let them have each other. He’s showing where his priorities are and you should believe him. (Yay4Amanda)

People were also shocked that her friend would suggest that she ignore the giant red flag her husband is waving, and suggest that she’s being dramatic!

Op you married a mama’s boy. I’m so sorry. See if you can get written proof of what she did (bait her in texts etc to get her to admit it.) Then file a police report against her. When you divorce your mama’s boy of a weasel, you will need it to keep your child away from her (if your husband fights for custody it will be difficult to prevent her).

Also cut off the friend who says you overreacted. If that friend doesn’t see the glaring red flag here, the friend is ALSO a red flag. Your husband lied to you, ditched you on v day to be with his mom, while also breaking your agreed boundary to be no contact after she abused your child. Nope to all of it. It’s divorce worthy, let alone merely making a scene. (buttercupcake23)


Many people agreed that what had occurred was indeed grounds for divorce, with many people thinking that since he’d made his priorities quite clear the story about the cops was likely a lie too. Realistically she couldn’t rely on him to back her in anything concerning his mum now or in the future.

NTA but your husband is a MF. Get your money right and file for divorce. What in the world?

Oh and he is absolutely lying about calling the cops. There’s no way they’d just dismiss an allegation of assault on an infant. You cannot trust this man. He will end up bringing your child around his mother. Bet.

One more thing, your friend is weird af too. Dump her. This shit is serious. He and his mom are lucky ALL you did was “embarrass” them by literally just stating what they did. Get the hell out of there. (Valuable-Spare-7164)


Go ahead and get your own bank account and lawyer, because not only is he kissing mommy dearest’s ass, he doesn’t understand the gravity of what she did to his daughter, the gravity of lying to you, and the gravity of ditching you both on Valentine’s Day to favor her. He also rewarded her bad behavior with a $400 gift. Question for you OP, when was the last time he bought you a $400 gift?

Unless he agrees to therapy, and real NC with his mom and no contact until you both have an agreement with the therapist that is a healthy, good idea to be any contact with her-throw this man away and proceed with a divorce. (Oldgal_misspt)

What do you think? What would you do in this woman’s situation?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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