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“My Husband Refuses to Take Our Kids to the Paediatrician Because It’s ‘Boring’ and a Mum’s Job.’”

Parenting isn’t all snuggling up under the covers reading books and building sandcastles at the beach. Quite often, being a parent means doing things you really wish you didn’t have to do, like waking at all hours of the night to tend to a sick child, hanging out with parents you don’t have anything in common with apart from the fact your kids are friends, and taking them to various appointments. However, one dad sees taking his daughter’s to the paediatrician as a ‘waste of his time,’ ‘boring’ and…wait for it…’a mum’s job,’ despite the fact that he and his wife work an equal number of hours each week.

We have a 2 year old and a 8 month old baby, both girls. The baby obviously has to go to the pediatrician more than our 2 year old for routine check ups

My husband only went to the pediatrician with one time and that because I had a C section and I wasn’t ready to drive all the way to the doctor to our baby’s 2 week appointments

We both work the same hours, we have the same schedule in fact. Whenever it’s time to make a pediatrician appointment for either of our babies my husband makes me go

He says he doesn’t like going to the pediatrician because it’s boring and it’s a mother’s job to take them to the doctor. He also says there are only mothers at the pediatrician office with their children, and he feels weird being there with his daughter because there is no dad there and it’s just a women and kids environment. This is true I go to my kids pediatricians office all the time and I’ve never seen a dad there before but that’s no excuse for my husband to be a bad example


My husband just complains it’s boring and he wants to relax when he comes back from work and he doesn’t wanna be in the waiting room for so long and wasting his rest of his day at a kids doctors office. Like umm same I wanna relax when I come home from work too but umm going to the doctor isn’t suppose to be exciting or fun but we have to be parents and take them. He said “cool you take them.” I’m sick of my husband being the fun dad only. He needs to be a parent. He’s a very active father in the household but when it comes to doctors’ appointments and taking our kids to extracurriculars like the wiggles and giggles events at the library, he’s absent because it’s lame and boring and it’s just a bunch of moms and kids there.

If you are feeling angry with this man on behalf of his wife, you aren’t the only one! Commenters did not hold back in their judgment of him.

Wasting his day??? What a pathetic excuse for a father. (bayouVoodoo)


Your husband’s only concern should be how his daughter feels. He is so self absorbed that he cannot handle sitting in a room with parents and children at doctor’s office. Tell him to scroll thru his phone and pretend he’s on the toilet.

He should be turning it around and thinking I am awesome for being the dad that takes my kids to the doctors, but it’s really not all that uncommon. Dads do go to the Ped’s office, change diapers at restaurants, take their kids to dance class, belong to the PTO and more. He sounds exhausting.

NTA (Beautiful-Report58)

Many dad’s also weighed into the discussion, expressing their disgust with her husband’s attitude to his parenting responsibilities.

That is bullshit. I (32m) take all four of my daughters to most doctor’s appointments. I am sure that might change when they get older and they want their mom to take them when they hit puberty, but right now I do most of the appointments and extra curriculars. Not saying that my wife isn’t active, because she is very, but how are schedule works, I am “Mr. Mom.” Your husband needs to grow up more. (matt-chowder)



Dad of 4..the actual fuck is his issue? So what if he wants to chill after work, he’s a parent first and foremost, take them damn babies the pediatrician.

My wife was a SAHM for many a year. Tell you what I didn’t realise how much actually goes into full time parenting for young babies. Was absolute wrote off after having them on my own for a couple days alone many a year ago.

Straight up told her, works a lot easier.

He’s uncomfortable as he’s the only man? It’s a medical appointment not a play date at a mother and baby class. Fella needs to give his head a shake and dad the fuck up.

Excuse my language. Fathers, well parents in general, like this make my piss boil.

Don’t stop working you, you’re killing being a career woman and momma lass!

NTA. (punchy_razzmatazz)

Many thought that his outdated attitude highlighted a blatant entitlement and misogyny.

Seriously. What does he think parenting is? Also, it’s not 1950 anymore. Grow the f up dude. You made a conscious decision to have children and raise them together. You are fifty percent responsible and not just for the fun shit. NTA OP. You are being completely reasonable and your husband is acting like a giant baby, ironically. (Fuzzy)Dragonfruit344)


And as one person pointed out, the only reason why this worked in the 50’s was because the majority of women didn’t work. This mum is working the same number of hours as him and he still considers his down time more precious than hers. One commenter suggested that if he wanted to opt for traditional roles, she should turn it against him in her own favour.


I would be petty… hope you both have separate bank accounts. I would make him pay ALL the bills from now on and keep all your money for you to spend as you please. Next time he asks for help paying the bills just tell him:

“I don’t like paying the bills because it’s the father’s job to earn money. Other moms don’t have to pay for rent and utilities, I feel weird because all the moms I talk to at the pediatrician tell me their partner doesn’t ask them for money. Besides it’s not exciting or fun to pay bills. On the weekends I just want to go shopping and relax with my own money.”

If he argues, you can politely point out that money is easy to replace, but time is priceless…. So what’s the difference? (lovemyptshorts)

What do you think? Are you the default parents when it comes to Dr appointments with your kids, or do you share the responsibility with your partner or ex?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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