Have you ever experienced a stranger coming up to you to touch your pregnant belly? One woman who is entirely of putting up with this strange phenomenon, recently snapped when a man reached out to touch her while she was in the waiting room at the chiropractic clinic. When she told him off, the man had the audacity to call her an asshole. But the kicker, is that when she later told her husband about the uncomfortable interaction, he told her she shouldn’t have yelled at the man and should have just allowed him a quick feel!
I (F26) am pregnant with my first child.
I am 25 weeks pregnant and the past 2 weeks I’ve had people come up to me and ask me if they can feel my bump. Why??! Why do people think this is an okay thing to ask?
Well, I finally snapped today.
I was in line waiting to check in at the chiropractor clinic, and this man standing in front of me noticed I was pregnant and asked me if the baby was moving right now, I told him she was moving a little bit. Then he reached his arm out and started feeling my baby bump. I felt so uncomfortable, I yelled at him to never touch a pregnant woman’s baby bump, especially without asking. He got upset and quietly called me an asshole and turned around.
I got home a little bit ago and told my husband what happened. He told me I should’ve just let the guy touch my bump quick and that I shouldn’t have yelled at him. He said it’s not that big of a deal.
I probably shouldn’t have yelled but maybe he’ll think twice about doing that to another pregnant woman? I am starting to feel bad now though and don’t know if I’m in the wrong.
Was I wrong for getting upset he touched my baby bump?
People in the comments section where indignant on her behalf calling both the men in this situation assholes.
NTA. A stranger touched you without your consent. You are not the A H. But that stranger is and so is your husband. First for thinking it’s okay and second for making you feel like you should have stood by passively and let it happen and third for thinking a man’s feelings come before a woman’s bodily autonomy and her wellbeing. (DelayUnlikely3530)
What kind of a husband tells his wife to just let other men touch her? (softgypsy)
NTA. How about some guy touch your husband’s ass to see how tight it is.
No one,..no one can touch you without your permission..no matter your age. (Slight-Bar-534)
NTA but your husband sure is. I mean what in the Eyes Wide Shut bullshit is this:
He told me I should’ve just let the guy touch my bump quick and that I shouldn’t have yelled at him. He said it’s not that big of a deal.
If some random stranger wanted to touch my wife’s baby bump you can count on me being very firm in telling them to “fuck right off”. It’s your body. Only people who you want touching it are allowed to touch. Full Stop. (slap-a-frap)
I was so annoyed when I read the husband’s reaction. He is clearly in the mindset of thinking women should be polite even when others are invading our personal space. (Hello_JustSayin)
Your husband said what?! He’s down with some rando guy fondling his wife?
NTA and you have every right to insist on body autonomy, pregnant or not. No one should touch you without permission. And I’m giving your husband the side eye. (2FatC)
NTA. People shouldn’t be touching other people uninvited anyway. You’re not a petting zoo and you should have told him that. And you should tell your husband that! (FuzzyMom2005)
One commenter, who seemed to empathise with the old man who touched her belly suggested that he should have asked permission first.
Asking is one thing – some of us fellas do genuinely love kids, and brood a little too – we genuinely are in awe of what you ladies do and go through.
But Christ on a bike, just reaching out and touching your bump? You should have slapped him! What an absolute knob..
NTA, 100% (TheRealPaj
However, other people pointed out that even asking a stranger to touch them was overstepping and would cause the pregnant woman unnecessary discomfort.
Honestly, asking a stranger to touch their belly is super creepy.
Unless you know the person, it’s really not okay. (photosbeersandteach)
Never even ask. If someone wants you to feel their baby bump, they will ask you. (AnnieTheBlue)
One woman even shared her own story of being repetatedly asked by someone if they could touch her bump, even after she had told them they couldn’t.
NTA. I am almost 9 months pregnant so it’s pretty obvious at this point and the other day I had some guy follow me in Target begging to touch my bump. I said no very politely, but he would not accept this and kept pestering me so I started saying no more forcefully. He still wouldn’t leave me alone though. Now as an inpatient psych nurse for over 10 years, I don’t spook easily, but this was by far one of my scariest encounters. I felt so vulnerable because there was so little I could physically do at this point. And if he was so bold and brazen in public, then what would happen if he found me alone? Life should not be this way. Everyone is entitled to basic safety and those who infringe upon that need to understand why that’s wrong. I’m glad you yelled. (Shaleyley15)
Other people offered advice on how to best deal with the situation should it arise again.
Next someone touches your belly, reach right out an touch theirs. When they take offense or asks wtf you look surprised and say “I thought we were playing the touch a stranger inappropriately game”. Or grab their crotch. I don’t know why strangers and even some acquaintances seem to think this is fine. It is not. You were not wrong. Except when he called you an asshole you should have said loudly “oh I’m the asshole? The woman who called you out for touching me inappropriately? I”M the Asshole? You sir, are the asshole.” (Tinkerpro)
When I was very pregnant a strange woman in the grocery store walked up to me while I was looking at vegetables and just put her hand on my belly. At this point I was sick of the constant invasion, so I reached out and put my hand on her boob. When she looked at me wide-eyed in shock I went “Oh, is this not what we’re doing? Touching each other without asking? My mistake!” She scurried off fast as fuck after that. I turned around to see my husband bent over a pile of apples laughing his ass off. (BergenHoney)
NTA. When I was pregnant with my youngest, some man tried to touch my baby bump. My husband , God love him, started rubbing his head, the man asked what the hell. My husband said he wanted to feel the ol chrome dome. The guy kept yelling, and ,my husband looked at him and said what makes you think you can touch my wife. (momofklcg)
Did you ever experience anything like this? How did you deal with it?