“My Husband Wants Me to Board My Old, Sick Cat So His Family Can Visit for Christmas!”

For people who don’t have pets, it can sometimes be hard to understand the special bond pet owners have with their beloved animals. They aren’t just an animal – they are part of the family! One woman, who has had her cat for more than half her life is being called ‘stupid’ and ‘sentimental’ by her husband for refusing to send her 19-year-old, to a boarding kennel over Christmas so that his family (with cat allergies) can stay for 2 weeks. Considering her fur baby’s age and failing health she presumes it’ll be their last Christmas together. Is she right to stand her ground?

I’ve been married to my husband for 3 years now. I’m 32 and he’s 37. I have had my cat since I was in middle school, she’s now 19 and has arthritis and kidney disease. Her name is Raindrop. She’s my best friend I don’t know I I’ll live without her. This will probably be my last Christmas with her, and I got her as my Christmas present in 8th grade. She came in a brown paper bag with a red ribbon my mom tied, apparently she found her in the gutter. Anyways.

My husband wants to have his family over for Christmas. I don’t really like them that much but I don’t mind them either. The issue is that his mom and sister are both really really allergic to cats. The first Christmas we were married they stayed over for two weeks, and I sent Raindrop to a cat boarding place. Last year my family stayed over so it was fine. This year he says it’s his family’s “turn” so Raindrop will have to go to boarding again, but I said I don’t want to do that because it’s my last Christmas with her. He says I’m being stupid and sentimental and his family’s feelings are more important, because Raindrop won’t mind going to boarding. She likes the people there and has stayed several times. Am I really being selfish?

Of course, people in the comments section agreed with the woman that Raindrop should not be moved from her home at this stage of her life.

Agreed. Raindrop sounds like an absolute gift and his family should go stay elsewhere. Raindrop lives there and having her leave temporarily wont make your house more allergy friendly (GullibleWealth750)

I remember the first vacation I took with my husband’s family, and on the FIRST DAY his mom got the call from the boarding office that their older dog had passed

OP, don’t do it. You will be heartbroken beyond belief if you board your cat and they pass in a cold kennel, alone, instead of close to you and in their home. . (gottabekittensme)

People were rightly angry at the husband’s dismissal of her feelings, many suggesting that it was him rather than the cat that should be sent to a boarding place!

Why are his family’s feelings more important than yours? Honestly would feel SO hurt if my partner said this about my love for a pet. It’s not stupid to want to spend one last Christmas with your best friend. NTA (hammocks)

I would board the husband before the cat! This is the cat’s home first and foremost! The family can rent an airB&B or stay in a hotel.

Stay strong OP and spend the holiday with the one that isn’t a cold hearted AH (GirlySloth)

Whoa. That’s not okay. He’s prioritizing his family over his wife. O_O

His family can either take meds or stay at an AirBnb if it’s that bad but if you want kitty to be at home with you for her last Christmas, that’s what should happen.

You are NTA, but your husband…he most definitely is. (IamIrene)

NTA

Your husband’s response is pretty upsetting though. If he knows and loves you, how could he not have noticed that Raindrop is a huge part of your heart? How can he possibly not care about her, even if only because she’s precious to you?

Bottom line: this is YOUR home and Raindrop also lives there, she’s your family and she’s entirely dependant on you for love and care. Your primary responsibility here is to Raindrop and her health, even above the wants of your husband- she’s extremely old and sick, whereas we can assume that he’s got other Christmases ahead of him. Do what’s best for Raindrop and don’t be guilted into this “who’s turns it” BS. If your husband can’t understand this then I don’t know what to tell you, but he’s showing you who he is loud and clear. I wouldn’t compromise on this, hard stop.

Your in-laws have several options:

1. they can take allergy pills
2. they can stay elsewhere
3. your husband can go see them where they live

You are NTA. But your husband is a massive AH. (GogsNSnow)

People also pointed out that simply removing the cat from the home would do little for people with a true allergy, as it’s the dander that causes the allergy.

NTA. Removing a cat temporarily doesn’t magic away the dander. They’re going to have allergy issues in every room the cat spent time in. If it didn’t bother them that badly the first time they visited, they can probably survive the cat being kept in your room. Vacuum and dust the heck out of the rooms his family will have access to. Better yet, your husband can do it. (GloomyMarzipan)

If they were able to survive the previous visit, some people thought that the woman could take steps to make the home comfortable for her guests without sending her cat anywhere.

NTA – How did that last visit go? I’ve been around people who are allergic to cats, but even if the animal isn’t there, the dander/fur still affected them. Heck, I knew a guy who broke out in hives from cat allergy, and the house cat had been dead and gone for a year, and the house was maintained by a maid service! I don’t understand how they could have stayed in your house for two weeks without it impacting them.

In any case, is there a room you can dedicate for her? If I was in your shoes I would absolutely hate the thought of boarding my cat at this stage, especially for 2 weeks. ((Sha7809)