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Parents Share the Dumbest “I’ll Never Do That” Things They Said Before Having Kids

It’s true when they say that parenting is one of the most fulfilling but challenging things you’ll ever do in your life. Unfortunately, its often made more difficult when people we are close to, and even strangers judge how we raise our children. Ironically, often the people that have the most rigid ideas on how kids should behave or how they should be parented aren’t parents themselves. Let’s be honest. I doubt there is one person here that didn’t even silently utter to themselves “I’ll never do that when I’m a parent,” only to find themselves as a parent, doing that very thing. As the saying goes, we are all perfect parents until we actually become one, as this parenting Reddit thread, (where people share the ‘dumbest’ things they thought), just goes to prove.

Mine? 100% that I’d NEVER let my kid follow me into the bathroom.

I thought it was SO WEIRD how people would just allow their toddler/small child come into the bathroom and just hang out while you used the toilet. I actually argued with my sister about it once(like an idiot) I was like “don’t you want to teach your kid about PRIVACY”

Fast forward to mere moments ago when I was literally leaned forward on the toilet because my toddler said she needed a hug while I was going. Lol. (TreClaire)



I do remember being a dickhead and saying to myself once, at the little park, “Why lock the gate, just watch your kids!”

Then had a little autistic guy and we HAD to lock the gate and he was still trying to figure out a way to launch himself over the fence from a picnic table haha (ZeldaVelveeta)


Mine was I’ll nvr say “because I said so”. I thought I would always explain everything out until they understood. Boooooy was I wrong. After many times of trying to explain why we don’t eat our boogers, have to wash our hands, have to brush our teeth, have to wipe our butts, have to shower, can’t eat pudding for breakfast, etc etc I’ve learned my lesson.

I’ll nvr forget my husband just smiling at me when I said I would nvr be that parent. Then one day it slipped out as I was OVER explaining why we can’t wipe our wet hands on the dog. 😂 (RaspberryLow6440)


Putting my child on a schedule. I wanted to be free and open with our time. To be fair, she scheduled herself, but that schedule COULD NOT be veered from unless you wanted an easy, sweet, and happy child to turn into the biggest demon you ever met. Relatives would be warned, ignore warning, and then act shocked every freaking time that a 2 year old that took two 2-3 hour naps a day couldn’t handle missing not just her first nap, but her second nap of the day. Every time, they would act like it was new, and I had not reminded them again about how she needed naps. (sarabridge78)


No character clothing. I loathe character clothing. Until I was standing in Kohls holding a pack of Elmo socks that I knew would absolutely thrill my little two year old’s heart. It felt like a gateway drug – once I let Elmo in, there would be no end to the character clothing takeover. I stood there and debated with myself for five minutes.

The video I have of him wearing his first pair of Elmo socks and yelling “MELMO!!!!” with the biggest smile on his face still makes my heart explode four years later. One of my favorite videos ever. (heygirlhey01)


I always said I would never be that parent covering in stains. “I’ll just get changed if my kid spits up on me… it’s not hard!”

I had twins and boy was I humbled quickly. Now unless there’s actual human excrement on me then I’ll wear the same t-shirt for days… (XLittleMagpieX)


My kids were going to eat grownup food and learn to enjoy well cooked vegetables at a young age. I could even smugly point to my palak paner and avocado loving baby. Then he turned two and promptly started to refuse anything that could be described as a vegetable regardless of preparation. I’ve learned how kid dependent this is, because while my youngest actually enjoys some vegetables my oldest still hates even the kid- friendly ones like carrots. (neobeguine)


I swore I wouldn’t be the parent to make a separate meal for my kid. He was gonna eat what I made, no chicken nuggets in my freezer, no sir.

Yeah. It doesn’t happen every night, but we have the five bite rule. If he’s not into what I made, I have no issue tossing some nuggets in the air fryer and boiling some broccoli for him (don’t judge me, it’s the only way my kid will eat broccoli – soggy and mushy). Or a nice pb&j? Or a hotdog in some mac n cheese? As long as he goes to bed full, I’m happy. It’s just not a battle I want to fight after working all day.

God bless Dino nuggets. (yonderposerbreaks)


I used to think that children were little adults and tantrums were because parents couldn’t understand or handle their toddlers/young ones properly…

Lmao what an absolute moron I was. These tiny humans go through all the stimuli and emotions in a short period of time and are literally overwhelmed where they can’t process it or have the tools to express themselves. They’re not throwing a tantrum to piss people off (mostly) they just are having trouble regulating their emotions. You know like adults do ALL the time with their maladaptive behavior of choice/habit. (Odysseus_Lannister)


“I’ll never use the TV as a babysitter” rapidly turned into “what the hell can my kid watch so I can fold laundry instead of having her climb inside the basket and fling my underwear in every possible direction.” (Rotatingruhnama)


I always thought I would never let my baby have a pacifier. She was hooked on her paci for 2.5 years. (Realistic-Read7779)


“We aren’t going to let him eat in the car. We just won’t ever start letting him so he shouldn’t ever think it’s a thing we do.”

LOL at my backseat covered in crumbs and raisins (hav0cvn)


‘I’ll never let my house get THAT dirty’

HA! (BrushedYourTeethYet)


I stupidly judged a friend (fortunately, not out loud) who had a baby a few months before me because she was feeding him every hour, when I knew babies were supposed to eat every 3 hours. I even thought the kid had to be crying for some other reason and she was mistaking it for hunger. After my baby was born, I was like “ooooooh!”. (Ioa_3k)


I had the same silent judgement about my SIL and her daughter with giving in. She’d give in the toddler so easily sometimes and I was like ‘you’re gonna create a brat, I’ll never do that’.

Then I had my own and was like ‘oooh its exhaustion, exhaustion was why she gave in’ (Mission_Ad_2224)


“I won’t let my kid scream in public. It disrupts everyone.” 😂 Sure, me, good luck with that. Have fun explaining to an exhausted 3 y.o. that they need to put a lid on their meltdown so they don’t offend the fragile sensibilities of Gertrude’s after-church brunch get-together. (Velociraptornuggets)


I was one of those non-parents who said I would never use a backpack leash for my kids. I spurted shit until I was blue in the face, how kids are dogs and blah blah blah. And then my 2nd son was born and from the moment he could walk he was off running everywhere. The backpack leash saved him and me from losing each other in some very very crowded spaces. (MrsBekka)


Mine’s something I did think a parent had to do but I learned better. I have a friend who’s got a spirited kid that’s a couple years older than my eldest. I watched her parent that kid and thought she just needed to spank him more and he’d behave (this was my parents’ approach and was basically all I knew). Then I had my own kid. The first time I spanked her was the last time. I instantly knew it was wrong to hit a child and couldn’t believe I’d thought that was the right/only way to parent. I went crazy on the attachment/gentle parenting resources. Now I have 4 kids and spanking is 100% off the table. Fortunately I got to practice my parenting on three fairly low-key kids before my spirited one came along. But I can’t imagine trying to break her spirit or damage her in any way. (peachy_sam)


That the kid could hang and be the cool kid tagging along to all the grown up stuff I used to do… toddler at the 8pm dinner with friends, toddler at the concert, toddler at the protest… and nope lol Our outings are park and library and on her schedule only (NectarineJaded598)


I wanted her dad and myself to be the only people that held her for the first 6 months. Absolutely insane lmao

level 1 (DRSmith0914)


Not so much an “I’ll never” but were sure we would use cloth diapers because we thought people who didn’t were entitled and lazy. We were all psyched to use them

Until or course, we became parents, at which point the reality of the situation hit. Then it was a hard pass and we went straight to fancy disposable. We have enough metaphorical shit to deal with already. (diadem)


Baby was going to be out of our bedroom by 4mo… I’m about to move the cot in so he can stay till 12mo

I was NEVER going to co-sleep – 6mo in my bed every night

I was going to have time to myself EVERYDAY. At least an hour and hubby could deal with it… – have left my boy once for like 45 minutes since he was born.

I would not have it any other way. Pre pregnancy me had no idea what she was talking about. (Effective_draagon)


Did you recognise any of these “I’ll never do that” statements? What did you foolishly think you’d never do when you became a parent?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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