Hilarious Things People Have Said in the Delivery Room

If you have ever screamed or sworn at your partner or the hospital staff during labour, decided mid-labour that you couldn’t go through with it all after all, or worried about pooping while you pushed, you are not alone.
In fact, as one hilarious Reddit thread is testament to, the pain of childbirth, (with or without the addition of painkilling drugs), can cause some women to say and do some pretty funny things.

The question posed was directed at Doctors and nurses who deliver babies, and asked what are some of the strange/funny things people said when giving birth. What follows are a whole host of personal anecdotes from both medical staff, parents, etc about their experience in the delivery room.

Here are our top ten favourite funny accounts:

When I was born, my dad didn’t know that babies are usually born face down, and as I was coming out he screams “OH MY GOD SHE DOESNT HAVE A FACE”
leftoverpieceofcake

When my first child was born his head was kind of misshapen, and when the doctor lifted him up to show my wife she yelled “why the $#@& does he look like a raptor?” I lost it.
Gfy_ADOOM

My husband told me when I was breathing the laughing gas I screamed “I’m lady Darth Vader!” as I was pushing.
Fezzin

When my brother was born, they had to use forceps to get him out. My mom saw them and screamed “THOSE ARE SALAD TONGS! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ANY GODDAMN KITCHENWARE IN THERE!”
jpuckey

I had a very bad tear during natural childbirth which meant lots of stitches. Add to that it was training day for one of the med students and it was taking a long time… A really long time.
Finally I look down between my knees and ask,
“What the hell? Are you guys weaving a friendship bracelet down there?!”
Both doctors, the intern, and the med student burst out laughing so hard they had to stop working. Apparently there was some issue with how the intern was stitching me up & things had gotten tense. This lightened the mood quite a bit.
nowgetbacktowork

I had a c-section and was pretty out of it. When they held up my daughter and said “here’s your baby!” I responded “that’s not mine, I’ve never seen it before in my life. Take it to lost and found.”
irritablevowels

A friend’s mom is a nurse.
Nurse: “Have you seen the mucus plug?”
Woman in labor: “Yeah, that moron went out to have a cigarette!”
Mint_and_Berry

When my sister was in labor, she was screaming and our mom was trying to be comforting: “It’ll be OK. Take some deep breaths. It’ll be over soon.”
Then my sister looks up at our mom and says “You have no idea what this is like.”
baconated

Right after my son was born via c-section, I was still higher than a hippie at Woodstock from the drugs they gave me. They handed me my beautiful newborn son and the first words out of my mouth were, “Oh my God, his scrotum is HUGE!” Then I laughed hysterically.
To be fair, it really was.
Maegwin79

Right after I was born, my mom delivered the placenta. My dad, seeing this, and very unprepared, looked at the doctor, then at my mom, back at the doctor again and said, “oh no, her heart fell out!”
jzzanthapuss