If you’ve gone through pregnancy, you’ll likely relate to one woman when she says that she is sick of people thinking that it’s ok to comment on and touch her pregnant belly. Taking to Reddit to share a recent run in she had with a lady at the supermarket, she recounts how she dealt with the remarks about the size of her belly.

I (35F) am currently 8 months pregnant. Something I’ve learned (fun news for anyone aspiring to follow down that same path) is that a LOT of people, mostly older women, feel that if you get pregnant they suddenly have the right to both comment and touch your body without permission. Sometimes/often without warning- even total strangers. I’m an intrinsically private person and while I don’t take offense, it does encourage the inner snark to come out.

I started showing around 5/6 months. I have two fibroids that are each quite large, think softball size. This causes me to look bigger and further along than I am. I’ve also not really gained elsewise (yes I’m aware it’s a good problem to have, but I do look disproportionate) so it’s REALLY apparent even under hoodies. Fast forward to last weekend.

I was in our local grocery store and an older, larger woman walks up to me and says something akin to “aw hunny, congrats! How far along are you?”. Kindly, sure, so I smile, step out of touching distance (this is usually when they go for a belly feel) and say “8 months”. She looked at me with a shocked expression and exclaims “Oh hun NO I would have guessed any day now! YOU’RE HUGE!!”

So… I smiled sweetly back at her and said “aw thanks, you too”.

You can imagine it didn’t go over well. At one point she said something about it being medical, and so my one interjection was “hey me too”- but it didn’t do much to diffuse the situation. Eventually she huffed away and I carried on my business.

I don’t really feel bad, but I am trying to gauge the assholiness of my response. I strongly feel that there shouldn’t be a stigma that pregnant women suddenly become public property, but acknowledge I could have once again been the ‘bigger person’. Or responded with “yeah I have two tumors in there with her” which has historically gotten a sputtering apology from people too. (Fibroids are benign tumors so this is technically true, just aimed at making people uncomfortable).

Some people in the comments section empathised with the pregnant woman’s irritation, and thought that it was highly inappropriate for anyone to comment on her body.

NTA

Good answer. Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean she can immediately feel entitled to comment on your body.

She’s not a doctor, she has no business judging what your body should look like 8 months pregnant. Her comment was inappropriate and I hope people will stop doing that someday… (Ousmousse)

NTA she commented on your body first. When I was pregnant I would get so sick of being asked about my belly I finally looked people straight in the eyes with a straight face and said I wasn’t pregnant (8-9 months along and huge). Ive never seen people look so embarrassed in my life 😂 (Queenie604)

Honestly, with my IBS, I can easily look 6-7 months pregnant at the end of the day. There are so many conditions that can make a woman’s abdomen bloat up to the point of appearing as a full term pregnancy. The safest thing for a stranger to do is simply don’t comment. (scramabledeggs2020)

Some people even thought her response was not only called for, but hilarious.

NTA and I’m about to write up a separate post that’s like, “AITA for thinking this woman’s sneaky clap back was hilarious?”

People need to stop commenting on other people’s bodies, no matter the circumstance, forever. If they won’t, they’ll simply have to take what’s coming to them.

PerioDT. (Significant-Ad-9758)

However, many people questioned whether the older lady deserved the response she received when her intentions had been kind.

I understand being tired of people being intrusive. I once had an old woman stop me on the street, touch my pregnant belly with both hands, and loudly start praying over my stomach. I really just wanted to catch my bus.

I get it. I really do. But intent and severity matter, and of all the people to respond to, the woman who didn’t touch you and was saying common pregnant platitudes was perhaps not the most deserving. (EmpressJainaSolo)

I agree. I’ve been pregnant and dealt with the comments. OP was flat out rude. If you want to clap back at inappropriate comments you can just say something to the effect of, “well, that’s a very personal remark” or something that actually informs the person what they did wrong and makes them reflect on it. There was no reason or excuse to call her fat, just to be nasty, when she was trying in a misguided way to be nice. (Sweeper1985)

Absolutely agree. I would be horrified at a stranger trying to touch me, pregnant or not. But this woman didn’t do that. OP was frustrated about people treating her like public property.

I understand, but this woman probably got upset because of a very personal and mean comment. Why would you think it’s okay to make someone feel that way? (mazmataz)

Yeah, I think it’s maybe not great to comment on pregnant women’s bodies like that, but it also is socially acceptable to an extent and many people don’t realize it’s a problem because it’s just so normal and have no ill will when they do that, they’re being an accidental AH at best.

I think this woman was a bit rude but was just surprised and had good intentions and so I say ESH.

Being rude back is just uncalled for. I honestly think OP’s “I’ve got 2 tumours in there as well” response is a lot better because it’s not an attack on the other person and still makes them rethink their comment and feel bad about it. (a-mathemagician)

What do you think? Was the comeback funny or just downright rude?