Can you imagine your partner trying to quieten you down whilst you are in the throes of childbirth by pushing back your hair, squeezing your hand, and saying, “just try to suck it up.”

I’ll just leave you to ponder that for a moment, whilst the rage inside you bubbles up against your hypothetical idiot of a partner! Surely there is not a man alive that would be so insensitive to the fact that pushing a human out of your vagina is no walk in the park…is there? Well, sadly, apparently there is!

One woman has written in to Reddit to ask if she is an asshole for giving her husband a taste of his own medicine a year after he told her to “suck it up” when she was giving birth to their son.

So I(26f) and my husband(32M) welcomed our baby boy about a year ago. It was my first pregnancy and honestly was pretty rough. The labour pain was incredibly severe. Still i wanted natural delievery so i went thru all of it. Due to the severe pain i couldn’t control and was screaming and crying. My husband, who hasn’t slept the whole night, got agitated by the screaming and said to me to “just try to suck it up a bit instead of screaming like this”. I honestly cried because of his comment and the pain. The baby was born some hours later and we sort of forgot the incident.

Few days ago my husband felt sudden pain in his stomach and it only got more severe, to the point we had to take him to the hospital at that moment. The doctor did a few check ups and told he had kidney stone and needs treatment. Since the pain was so severe my husband got painkiller shots. Even during that he was screaming at the top of his lungs. At that moment i got petty, and since i was already fussy from sleeplessness due to taking care of a toddler, i said to my husband “can’t u just suck it up for a while. Why r u shouting so much”. He was shocked and then later remained quiet. When we went home he was still quiet and when asked he told how insensitive i was and he felt so bad. To this i reminded him of the time when he said the same thing.

Now he is angry and calling me petty and that he didn’t mean anything but i had malicious reasons. So AITA?

Commenters came out in support of the woman. Even those who acknowledged that what she had done was a little mean, felt it was warranted in this case.

Ha ha! I could see my wife doing exactly this sort of thing, if she were in that situation, so I’ll go with NTA.

Was it a mature or kind decision? Not really, so I suppose it makes you a little mean, but hopefully he will quit wallowing in self-pity and realize that dismissing the pain of someone one claims to love is beyond callous and was wrong of him.

If I said anything remotely like that to my wife, I’m not entirely sure what would happen, but I know my body would never be found. (AnnoyedPricklyPrick)

People, on the whole, were hugely supportive of her pettiness. 

We as a society need to bring back “ethical pettiness” lol; being petty in return when someone was petty to you during an actual moment of weakness and struggle.

I can’t even imagine what I would’ve done if my husband told me to “suck it up” while I was giving birth. I might have caught a charge or something lol because that man would not have seen the light of the next day.

Compared to that, this pettiness on OP’s part is well deserved lol. NTA all the way and if hubby didn’t mind telling a pregnant woman whose insides were being shredded open to give way to a whole ass human to “suck it up”, he surely shouldn’t mind this. (Illustrious_Fix2933)

You were petty, but damn well justified! Tell him your pettiness stems from how you have never forgotten how he spoke to you when you were at your most vulnerable. How’d he like them apples??? NTA! )galaxymalone)

Several people who had experienced kidney stones themselves weighed in on the conversation.

NTA girlfriend! I don’t have experience giving birth, but I have had kidney stones and I’ve been told the pain is comparable. And you went through yours without meds! How the tables turn. (StringPhoenix)

NTA, I’ve had kidney stones and I’ve delivered 3 babies. They are not the same. His pain was nothing compared to what you went through. He was way out of line and I love the pettiness. Maybe he will learn to keep quiet for the next labor. (vblsuz)

I’ve birthed 4 kids… and had kidney stones during 3 of the 4 pregnancies! Kidney stone pain is no joke, however, OP is really mad about the fact her insensitive dimwit of a husband can’t keep his mouth shut when he should. She’s 1000% justified to throw this back in his face imo… but I think they need to have a convo about the resentment she’s still harbouring of how he treated her during an incredibly vulnerable and stressful time where she really just wanted to feel safe and supported. Husband is a damn ding dong. Smh. (veraford)

In regards to the fact that she knowingly hurt him, whilst he did it by accident, people didn’t think that made what she did worse. In fact, if anything, people thought that it was an admission of thoughtlessness on his behalf at a time when she needed him to care for and advocate for her.

ESH Technically, because what he said to you makes him an a. h. And you did the same thing to him, which, because it was the same thing, was an a.h. thing to do.

HOWEVER

When you pointed out you were only doing the same thing he had done, he should have taken the lesson to realise that how you hurt him just now was how he hurt you then, and he should have taken the opportunity to apologise. And then you’d apologise back. Everyone all good then.

Doubling down and saying when you do it it’s pretty, but when he does it he ‘didn’t mean it’, is childish and stupid. He’s effectively saying “when you did it, you knew it would hurt to hear, but when I did it, I didn’t even think about how you’d feel to hear that, I was thoughtless and inconsiderate” which is just as bad and he hasn’t even realised. (Waylah)

So, overall, people thought that the husband got what he deserved!

What do you think?