For some women, making the decision to stay home with their children when they are small is a privilege or a no-brainer. But for others, it means that their chances of career advancement are negatively impacted, they are financially dependent on their partner, and depending on how long they are out of the workforce, their overall lifetime earning potential takes a huge hit. This is all well and good when a marriage works and finances are shared equally, but can have dire financial consequences for women if the marriage breaks down.

One woman, whose husband asked her to quit her career and become a stay at home mum, has attempted to safeguard her financial future by agreeing only if her husband gives her half of his company.

My husband and I (both 35) have been married for 6 years and we have 2 children together and 1 on the way. He said that he wanted me to be a housewife and stop working. I was very disturbed by that but he explained that it was better for our family and children since he can afford very good living. After a few weeks thinking I told him that I would agree but only if I get 1/2 his company. He was surprised by this but I explained further that the more I stay at home the less chance I would have to find a well paying job should we ever divorce because I would have less merits, while he would stay making more money each year. So I want half of the company. If we never divorce, which is the goal of all marriages then it wouldn’t matter but should it end, it would be the price of me staying home and raising our children so he could be less worried and stressed out (his words, that he would be less anxious and stressed out if he knew they were with me rather than with strangers in daycare or nannies).

When I told my friends they called me the ah. My best friend was very angry and called me disgusting. So I am taken aback a little.

People in the comments section commended her for having the foresight to plan for her own financial stability in the future, and thought that she’d be very wise to stick to her guns.

NTA. Being a housewife isn’t just hanging out all day with the kids and tidying up every now and then. It’s a life-altering decision that includes partial or full isolation on your part (you’ll be taken out of the workforce around others, and there is a tendency for people inside the home to think your work is/should be 24/7). You become a nanny, chauffer, maid, emotional caregiver to everyone, plus SO much more for what on a lot of days can feel like a thankless job. On top of all that you’re jeopardizing your financial future while you support him in his career and finances growing.

Please stick firm to this. There are so many women who end up screwing themselves over for decades because of what they thought was the best decision for their family. (Large-Land-snail)

NTA

To me, this sounds reasonable for exactly the reasons you’ve given.

You don’t want to be the bitter woman finding out in her 50s that waiting tables is her only option because her professional career skills have passed their due date, and your husband has moved on.

You don’t want to be trapped in a loveless or even abusive marriage because you’re financially dependent.

And you don’t want to be a SAHM begging her husband for an allowance. (Playful_Robot_5599)

People agreed that domestic duties were often undervalued by partners who worked outside the home, but they were equally important. The working partner would not be able to work so many hours, and earn the same amount of money if the other person was not there to pick up the slack at home after all.

NTA. He’s asking you to make a sacrifice for the sake of the company, so equity in the company is appropriate compensation for this.

If you never get divorced then no worries. If you do, then the extra attention he’s able to give to the business due to your taking on the domestic roles benefits both of you equally, as it should. (Hi-Im_Dadbot)

Refreshingly, pretty much everyone agreed that it was a fair request.

NTA. I’m a man and I see nothing wrong with your request, you’re just protecting yourself and your future in case things go south. You have every right to have financial security. (BendPresent1437)

However, a few people did question the friend’s motives, as she clearly didn’t seem to have her best interests at heart.

Is your friend looking to snag your man? Is she f-ing him and wanting it for herself if you guys divorce? Disgusting is an interesting choice to describe your wanting to protect your own butt. (KEOChaos)

NTA and you shouldn’t bend on this. You have as much a right to a secure financial future as he does. If he won’t do this, he can’t afford you or he is looking to create a power imbalance that puts you at a disadvantage.

In future, keep your marital business to yourself. Your friends don’t get a vote. (sunrunner2021)

NTA.. your “friend” is, though. Fuck her, it’s a brilliant idea and also a great example to your kids. 10/10 for genius, girl. (delicious-Car5229)

Get better friends. I’d be suspicious about why your “best friend” is so against this. If you were her main priority between you and your husband then you would be who she cared about and supporting you in this. Not saying your husband is cheating, he probably isn’t, I just think it’s time to “trim some fat” in your life. 2024 is all about people who make you feel good about yourself. Don’t start it with people like that. (cricket1922)

What do you think? Do you think requesting half of the company is fair if she agrees to give up her own career to support him in his, and take care of their children full time?