12 Things That Cause All Mums to Lose Their Everloving Shit
Motherhood is a fun ride with a bunch of crazies hell-bent on making you lose your shit at any given moment for a whole range of reasons. Not all the time, of course, they do need to sleep sometimes. But a lot of the time.
And there are certain things that drive us all crazy, no matter who or where we are. It’s a universal thing. These things might not be the end of the world or worth getting too upset about, but they all make us lose our everloving shit, even if it’s just internally.
I present to you, a list.
1. When they spill milk on something that can’t just be chucked in the wash
I’m talking a lounge, a bed, carpet or car seats. You’ve got T minus six minutes and thirteen seconds to get it cleaned up or your house or car will smell like rancid curdled milk for the foreseeable future.
Extra points if they spill it and don’t tell you until you wonder where that smell is coming from.
2. When they correct you in front of the other mums
So you’re standing out the front of the school chatting to the other mums about something amusing and halfway through your story your child pipes up with a loud voice saying “No Mum, there were five kids at the party, not seven!” like it makes any difference to the outcome of the story at all. Now everyone thinks you’re a dirty great liar with pants on fire about something completely irrelevant to your point anyway.
3. When they continually asking “WHY?” after being told no
I thought my children would grow out of this by the time they started kindergarten, and I guess they did for a little while. But alas, I was lulled into a false sense of security as I had not yet become a parent of a teenager. Now it is worse than ever. They don’t even think about it. “Can I have a bag of chips?” “No.” “WHY?”
Now I know why parents always say “Because I damn well said so!”
4. When they throw clean clothes into the dirty clothes basket
Surely I’m not the only mum to lose her shit when she discovers that her kids have chucked their neatly folded and very much unworn clothing back into the dirty washing basket to avoid having to put it away? I’ve even had to unroll socks to peg them on the line before. I’m looking at you, Mr 9.
5. When they leave only one lap of toilet paper on the roll with no spares in sight
This is where I decided that the only toilet I was going to use anymore would be the one in my en-suite. Because these ferals are more than happy to leave literally two squares on the roll for the next person to anguish over.
6. When they hide dirty socks everywhere
I’m not kidding, I’ve found random dirty socks under lounge cushions, in the car, shoved behind furniture, in the pantry. And it’s never a pair of socks, it’s just the one sock in any given place, the other one is somewhere else. Does my head in. Pick. Up. Your. Bloody. Socks. People!
7. When the one day we get to sleep in, they wake up at sparrow’s fart
There could not be anything worse than this one. After six days of having somewhere to be at 7am, can’t we just sleep in please? Nope, apparently not.
8. When they “don’t like” two-thirds of the chip flavours in the box of little chip packets
We have a big box full of those little packets of chips that they snack on and take to school, and wouldn’t ya know it, it’s full of chicken and bbq flavoured ones. No one eats them. So I just keep buying the boxes like the idiot I am, and they keep eating the plain ones and the Twisties because they “don’t like” the other flavours. Who doesn’t like free chips? You didn’t pay for them, just eat them. Drives me nuts, just eat the damn chips.
9. When we sit on a wet toilet seat
10. When we discover that someone has eaten the leftovers we were saving for lunch tomorrow
Don’t mess with a hungry mum and her food!! I was looking forward to not eating a boring vegemite sanger for lunch. Not happy, Jan.
11. When they just won’t stay in bed after they’ve been tucked in
So you’re sitting there, watching something with very bad words in it and they keep popping out to get a drink, to tell you something lacking in any urgency, or to inform you that they can’t sleep. No shit, Sherlock, it is very hard to fall asleep standing in the living room speaking to people. GO TO BED.
12. When people ask what on earth you do all day
We keep everyone’s worlds turning, spending hours planning the family’s schedules, making sure the bills get paid on time, keeping the pantry and little bellies full, washing, drying, folding, ironing everyone’s clothes that seem to magically re-appear in everyone’s wardrobes every day. We might like to rant and complain to ourselves, but there are a billion reasons why we love our families more than anything else on the planet. And we make sure we take care of them the best way we know how.
So what do I do all day? EVERYTHING. That’s what!
Do you have any to add?