A heavily pregnant woman has turned to the internet for advice after a nocturnal visit to the toilet resulted in an unfortunate accident, after her husband had failed to place the toilet seat down. However, after calling out to her husband to help her, when he found her, instead of helping her, he laughed uncontrollably – while all the while she cried and screamed in discomfort and humiliation.

I am 8 months pregnant with our first baby. Hubs and I are in our early 30’s. I’ve been feeling fat and unattractive, doesn’t help I’ve gained a lot of weight, my back hurts a lot and it feels like with this huge belly I practically have to waddle in place of regular walking.

Husband sometimes leaves the toilet seat up although it’s not very frequent and I don’t really mind it often. Last night, he was smoking a joint (he is not an addict, just has been experiencing stressors at work and does it like once every two months if that’s relevant) and got high.

My husband was in the guest bedroom watching a movie and I fell in our bedroom. Woke up at night to use the one bathroom we have in our house in the hallway. I don’t like switching lights on and rely on streetlight outside to get around. Our toilet seat is very high rise and I have got short stubby legs. I was groggy and wanted to get quickly done with peeing before heading to bed.

As soon as I sat, I slid inside the toilet with my legs and feet almost raised and me being unable to lift myself with my hands. It felt gross as I had already peed myself by that point and some of my clothes got wet with the water splashing. I started crying and called out for my husband to help me.

He came, switched on the light and looked at me and then burst laughing. I don’t know if this was just the weed but he didn’t register I needed his help. He even fell onto the floor crying his eyes out as if I was trying to deliberately be a source of entertainment for him. He could hardly put words together but told me that with that belly and falling into the toilet with my feet hanging over the seat I looked like Humpty Dumpty.

I cried harder and screamed at him to help me get out of this thing and help me clean up. But he didn’t stop laughing until 10 minutes and I hated being there. I was so vulnerable and I felt he was being a cruel prick. I’ve never felt so humiliated and embarrassed before.

After everything was done, I had lost my sleep and stayed up the whole night replaying the incident over and over again. I don’t know if this is something hubs and I can laugh about later because I have no idea if weed can make you lose your mind like this. I haven’t been speaking to my husband and he says that he is sorry. Would you be able to forgive your partners if they did this to you?

AITA?

The first things that commenters were keen to address was why her husband was partaking in drugs when he may be needed to take her to hospital and support her through labour at literally ANY MINUTE!

At 8 months along, your husband should be sober and ready to get you to the hospital at ALL TIMES. For that alone, he’s a giant asshole! I was 5 weeks early both pregnancies. This is the time to be alert and prepared. (StacyB123)

NTA.

Why is your husband still smoking when you’re 8 months pregnant? What will you do if you go into labour and have to get to the hospital? He can’t drive. He also can’t have impaired function and judgement in case something happens. (Acceptable-Bell142)

Some commenters thought that the scene probably was quite comical, but even if he had let out an involuntary laugh initially, there was no excuse for leaving her stuck and clearly distraught for as long as he did.

NTA make him grovel. The initial burst of laughter can be excused, but not the 9:50 minutes after.

Is he going to laugh when you are in labour and screaming with pain? Or when your child falls off the changing station because he doesn’t pay enough attention?

If he gets that stupid when he smokes a joint then he needs to keep his hands off fucking pot. I don’t care if he’s stressed or whatever.  He needs to be reliable and available at this point in your lives. I would say the same if he got drunk and passed out.

Our child was born six weeks early.  50 minutes after we got to the hospital.  This is not the time to fuck around and be a jerk. (GSD_enthusiast)

NTA. Your husband laughed for 10 minutes while you needed help. Your husband laughed for 10 minutes while you were stuck. Your husband laughed for 10 minutes while you needed assistance. He may have momentarily found it funny but his first reaction should have been to help you WHILE YOU ARE 8 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD. You were upset and extremely uncomfortable while HE LAUGHED FOR 10 MINUTES. He should be grovelling at your feet and begging forgiveness.

As for those who say this will make an amusing anecdote is the future, how will it make husband less of an asshole. Does he really want everyone to know that he left his 8 month pregnant wife without helping her while he laughed for 10 minutes? I would have no respect for such a person. Anyone who laughed before helping is an absolute doorknob. (Squirrelsareevil2479)

NTA

You were crying when he walked in and while laughing as the first reaction is a little understandable, he laughed for 10 minutes as you were crying, stuck, and yelling at him for help.

I don’t know how he couldn’t register that you needed help until later 10 minutes later. High or not I’m not sure there is an excuse for his behavior especially considering you’re carrying his child. I think even in the future the situation is slightly funny, but you’ll probably always remember how you felt in that moment and how long it took him to help you.

You should talk to him about the toll pregnancy takes on you physically and how you felt in that situation. If he seems like he’s still holding back laughter sober after knowing how you felt than you should really reconsider your relationship. (StrangeUniverse_369)

Many people agreed that she had every reason to be angry with him.

He would be banned from the delivery room if it was me.

NTA. (RatchedAngle)

NTA. If my husband did this to me I’d 1) take him to a flipping neurologist to see if he has a brain tumor, 2) file for divorce (PresentExamination10)

However, some commenters wondered if the whole ordeal had seemed to last longer to OP than it had actually been, and whether she was making more of a deal about it than it was.

I really don’t know, I sympathize with both of you really. I understand how you feel being eight months pregnant. Been there. You can’t move in a normal way and you feel huge. However, it sounds like you’ve had insecurities before the pregnancy. That is something you need to deal with.

I can also understand that this situation must have been hilarious to walk into. And especially being high. Also, I doubt if it really was ten minutes of laughing and not helping you. Although I do understand it felt like forever. I don’t think he meant any harm. He apologized, I think you should accept, hopefully laugh about it and move on.

So I guess I end up at NAH (Sara_1987)

Others disagreed and pointed out that his delayed response in helping her could have had dire consequences for the baby.

NTA. An initial burst of laughter out of shock, fair enough, but after that he should have been scrambling to help. Not only because you were embarrassed and uncomfortable either.

In that position your legs were undoubtedly pressing into your bump. Baby has cushioning but being compressed like that can’t be a good thing.

Also, I’m willing to wager that a combination of bad positioning and your bump being squashed up into your ribcage made it kinda hard to breathe. Positional asphyxia is not something that only happens to infants. Just how long would he have continued laughing after you passed out until he realised something was wrong.

I’ll not even bother starting on him getting high when you’re at this stage. Other have covered it better than I ever could.

He is a fool and needs to recognise that not only were his actions hurtful, they put you and your baby at serious risk! (PepperPhoenix)

What do you think? Would you be able to forgive him and laugh about it one day, or was his response unforgivable?