Ask Eliza – “My Sister Shared a Photo of Herself Wearing My Wedding Dress on Instagram BEFORE my wedding!”

Dear Eliza,

I am absolutely devastated. My hotter younger sister was staying with me after she split with her long term boyfriend. While I was at work, she tried on my new wedding dress. Then she took a photo of herself sitting on the floor in it, pretending to be crying and drinking straight from a bottle of wine. She then shared it with her thousands of Instagram followers (including a lot of my friends and our family) THREE WEEKS BEFORE MY WEDDING!

I am distraught.

I have always been the plain and chubby one of us two girls, and have recently lost a lot of weight. My wedding gown is very unique, with a lot of intricate gold embroidery all over the bodice and down the skirt. Custom made and one of a kind. I was looking forward to that moment – MY MOMENT – when I arrive at my wedding and show off my new figure and stunning dress. My sister (and maid of honour, by the way) has robbed me of that.

It is too late to find another dress and I can’t stop weeping at the thought of my special day being ruined as everyone will have already seen my dress. My sister deleted the Instagram post once she realised how upset I was about it but the damage was done. I know she was trying to be funny about her situation but at my expense. My family think I’m over reacting. Am I? What should I do?

{Holly, Williamstown, Vic*}

Firstly, I want to congratulate you both on your weight loss, and on your upcoming wedding. Congratulations Holly, this is a very special time in your life and I’m so sorry that your sister has all but ruined it with her selfishness.

I think I understand how you’re feeling. You’ve made it pretty clear in your email that you are struggling to get over your sister’s disrespect both for you and for your wedding gown. I get the impression that as she is younger and, to quote you, hotter, that she had the idea that perhaps she’d be the one to get married first, especially seeing as she had a serious boyfriend. I understand that she is going through a painful breakup and that she was trying to be funny, but that is no excuse for what she did.

I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you need to just take a deep breath and put it behind you. With such a short time until your wedding, you have no other option. Have a talk to your sister, explain calmly how hurt you are and what she has actually done — she sounds like she really has no idea of the level of disrespect she has shown here, and how she almost destroyed your day.

You need to hold your head high and move on. Take the high road. There is nothing you can do to undo this mess, but you can move forward and not let it hijack your special day. Maybe not as many people saw the dress on Instagram as you first thought? Are all your older relatives on Insta every day? Are your circle of friends following your sister on social media? More importantly, did your fiancé see it? If not, just breathe, put it behind you and enjoy your big day. It’s about you and your future husband, not your selfish sister. Don’t let it be about her.

Best wishes on your marriage and your future together, Holly. xx