Aussies Share the Best Nicknames They’ve Ever Heard, and They Are Gold!

If there is one thing Aussie’s are good at, it’s coming up with hilarious nicknames for their family, mates or colleagues. A Redditor recently took to the AskanAustralian sub to ask other Aussie Redditors what the best nicknames are that they have heard.

One of the regulars at my pub is a bit of a ‘grumpy old man’ but is actually a pretty decent dude when you get past the facade. I recently found out that some of the other drinkers have given him the nickname ‘Pothole’.

Why ‘Pothole’? Because people keep trying to avoid him. 🙂

This cracked me up. What’s the best nickname you’ve heard? (binarysmurf)

The responses came in thick and fast and did not disappoint. Here’s some of the best ones:

A really old fella who was one of the electricians called Jurassic Spark. (MauryLevysBriefcase)

A bald headed dude they called Mudguard. Shiny on top, shit underneath. (Widgeamedoo)

Worked with someone who couldn’t give a rats about his job, just turned up – did bare minimum – clocked off. His nickname was Harvey Norman. 5 years, no interest. (Savings-Weight5774)

Milo, because he isn’t quick. (Creepy_Philosopher_9)

Worked with a bloke who we called Clock had one arm significantly shorter than the other. (Galaxy_Punch3)

Showbags. Because he was full of shit. (DiveDylan)

My dads nickname is Nadsy, which is a derivative of “gonads” which is a term used to identify testicles 😂😂

When he was younger, his brother and friends were picking on him cause he was asking “what are nads/gonads” or something along those lines and they started calling him Nadsy. It’s stuck to this day into his 50s 😂

Now that he has grandkids, he wants to be called “grandnads” 🫠🫠 (MissSmoak)

Worked with another tradie whose surname was Price and his height was about 5 ft 2. Everyone called him Half-Price. (Raised-Anchor68)

My Stepdad worked with a very dumb man. He nicknamed him Cement Head.

Cement Head was asked why that was his nickname and he replied “because I own a boat!”

He thought my Stepdad was calling him Seaman Ted. (Accomplished-Ad-3833)

I knew a Sexyfingers because everything he touched ended up fucked. (Needmoresnakes)

A guy I know worked with a bloke called Wayne Bruce. Everyone called him Man Bat. (ApologyWars)

We have an islander feller at work who looks like the rock but smaller so everyone calls him The Pebble. (Sexualdeskfan)

Bloke who had a toe missing…..they called him Milk….lacked toes…… (Significant_Tiger379)

Went to school with Ham, which made no sense until I met his siblings “Cheese” and “Tomato”. All named for sandwich fillings, because they were inbred. (53cr3tsqrll)

Bloke at the pub called Perth because he is 3 hours behind everybody else. (reelfishybloke)

Bloke at work who no matter what it was anyone had done he’d done it better or knew a better way to do it got the nickname Two Shitscause if you’d had one shit he’d had two. (Barge81)

Wowcastle.

Guy was so dumb he was like a gold fish swimming around a small bowl.

Every lap he’d see the little castle in there with him and say “wow, castle!” (Elder_Priceless)

Knew someone who was very dour and un-energetic at work. Really slow to do anything. Her colleagues called her Monsoon. A slow-moving depression. (Original_Charity_817)

I knew a guy who got the nickname ‘Sauce’ because he had red hair, eventually he got sick of being called that and decided to dye his hair black. In the end, his nickname changed…to Soy Sauce. (XNC923)

Penfold. She thought it was because she liked drinking wine. But in reality we named her after the character from danger mouse because she was also a mole. (Somethingdifferen7)

Not mine, however.

A dude nicknamed Rice cause his name was Barry Mathews..

Baz Matty. (Snoo-85674)

Mastercard – Takes credit for everything (ConsciousApple1896)

Used to call my old bosses wife Gastro. Because she gave everyone the shits. (Main-Light5817)

When I lived in Darwin, I shared a house with three other blokes. My nickname was Skinny because I was the only one with a foreskin lol. (Pure_Apple_452)

The sports team coach called Taxi. Short for taxidermist, because when he was finished with you, you were stuffed. (No-Werewolf_8867)