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“I Found My Wife’s OnlyFans!”

One man has taken to the internet for advice after discovering his wife has an OnlyFans account, and shares adult content across a number of other platforms too. After following his gut that something was quite right, he made the shocking discovery and decided to confront her with the evidence. However, she attempted to turn things around on him by accusing him of breaching her privacy and not trusting her!

I found my wife’s OnlyFans and VARIOUS other adult content pages on other platforms.

I just had a feeling in my gut that something was off. It all started when I noticed she would spend ungodly amounts of time in our guest bedroom at night when she would usually spend some time with me when I was home from work.

I asked her about it & she told me it was nothing and she just needed time to herself. I just thought that was bullshit though. So I decided to see for myself what’s been going on.

And then I found it. I can’t even tell you how I felt because my mind just went blank. I couldn’t even believe it was her.


I confronted her about it and she almost immediately blew up at me. At first, she denied it was her… but her face is obviously visible. Then she got to blaming me.

She says the reason she’s doing this is because our household income isn’t enough right now for her to “live her life to the fullest.” She lost her income and now we are living on mine.

My income is enough to keep us with the bare necessities comfortably. But it’s not enough to fund the monthly spa trips and cooking services that she likes to book. That was another red flag for me. Even with the loss of her job she’s still able to afford these things and more.

She’s now saying I invaded her privacy and I’m stopping her from being happy. She’s saying it’s a breach of privacy and I’m supposed to trust her. She says I’m wrong and an AH for what I did. Am I? I’m not sure what to do at this point.

Commenters were baffled by his wife’s reaction and many pointed out that the way she had tried to turn things around onto him was a classic technique used by abusers and manipulators.

Typical gaslighting manipulation. (TravelingDriver)


Seriously concerning when a grown person tries to turn tables when caught in lies and major deception.

DARVO, look it up. NTA (emorymom)

Learning DARVO was one of those “ah HA” moments in life where a lot of things suddenly made sense

(For those who don’t want to look it up, it’s an acronym for the way abusers respond to accusations: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender) (tyblake545)



OMG that is so awful. She seriously opened your marriage up and is now gaslighting you and trying to act like a victim!

I want to know how you invaded her privacy when she is selling images/videos of herself to the public.

I am so sad for you and the state of your marriage. She should be taking that “free time” and be job hunting, but clearly she doesn’t want to work she has found what she wants. It sounds like she likes strangers attention/money and is treating you poorly because her dirty little secret just came to your attention. (Spittfyer11)

Others questioned what level of privacy she was expecting.

It’s not really invading privacy if the profile is public. (Farouche_33)


Selling your body on line is the absolute opposite of privacy. (lumbernmo)


Also, what kind of privacy does she expect in a marriage?

In my mind, generally once people get married they can expect that other people will not be able to watch their partner’s naked bodies anymore. At least not in a sexual setting, which OF definitely is. (mensink)


This is the important part. There’s nothing wrong with pornography as a way to make money. What’s wrong is hiding it from your partner intentionally. It’s a major breach of trust on par with cheating if OP believes it should be, because it’s his trust that was betrayed. (Zansibart)

He didn’t breach her trust, she breached his, and people were dumbfounded that she would even try to twist it the other way.

You asked her what she was doing and she lied to your face. It’s a breach of trust for her to lie to you and do things behind your back and if she was honest, you wouldn’t have felt like you had to go looking and find out for yourself. She’s just mad she got caught, NTA. (RuninWScissrz)

Moving forward, people had lots of advice for the man – none of which involved forgiving and forgetting!

Move your money to safety, say nothing else about her “work” and file for divorce before she intentionally tanks her earnings for a higher divorce settlement.

If she’s flipping the script on you this much I can only imagine how nasty she’s gonna turn on you for other things

Do not leave the house no matter what, if it’s not a rental (I_h8_R_Ire_mods)

Document the only fans page as well, before she can remove the content. (Solo_Says_Help)


Yes! I cannot stress this enough after seeing how sideways things can go – do NOT leave the house. My friend, despite being a loving husband for ten years, lost his house to his spouse even though she was the one who got pregnant with another man. He left the house to cool off, she changed the locks, told the cops she was scared of him and he never got back in the house to live again. He did end up being court ordered to pay the mortgage for two years, though. His lawyer was probably also partially shit but I do try to help others not go through what he did if I can. (ForgetSarahNot)

What do you think? What would you do in his shoes?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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