“My Neighbour is Calling Me a Scammer for Selling Items That I Picked Up From Our Local Buy Nothing Group!”
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If you were ever in any doubt about whether its morally acceptable to take free hand-me- downs from local community buy nothing groups and then sell them on for profit, this Reddit thread should clear up the matter once and for all.
Writing in to Reddit, presumably assuming that she was in the right, one woman described how she had been called out by a neighbour for selling on items she’d received from her neighbours for free, and labelled “a scammer.”
I (28F) live in a very large neighbourhood. We have a neighbourhood Facebook group and people sell and giveaway items on there very frequently. I have two small children that grow out of things quickly, so I’ve grabbed a few bags of free clothes, shoes, and toys. Once my kids grow out of those, I sometimes sell them on FB marketplace. Recently a neighbour saw my listing and reached out to ask if this was the item she gave to me for free. I said yes, and she said I should have posted the item in our neighbourhood group for free first before trying to sell it. She called me a scammer and said what I was doing wasn’t very neighbourly. I told her that I used the item for several months and wasn’t scamming anyone. I didn’t see anything wrong with making a few dollars here and there. I have given away several things to our neighbours that I didn’t want to go through the effort of selling and I honestly don’t care what they do with them. I understand that it may be the “neighbourly” thing to try and find someone that can use them first before selling but I don’t think I’m an a***hole. In my opinion (which may be wrong, that’s why I’m posting this) if someone gives away something for free, it’s out of their hands once someone picks it up. So AITA for selling items that were given to me for free?
Is it Okay to Resell Things You Get Free from Buy Nothing Groups?
Her behaviour was unanimously agreed to be in poor form and contrary to the spirit of paying it forward. ‘Buy nothing’ groups are built on the principles of generosity and supporting those in your community, and some even have explicit rules around selling things you were gifted in the group.
YTA
There’s an implied (and often explicit) culture in buy nothing / free groups that expects people not to take advantage of each other. Someone passes on kid stuff to you, you get to use it for free, and in return, you then pass it on to someone who can use it after you.
You’re not legally required to do this. You can legally do whatever you like with your property, including selling it. You’re just a selfish asshole. (mmiggs)
I completely agree. When people give things away, it’s implied that that spirit of giving will continue with those particular objects. People who grab them and resell (even if they used them in between) are AHs.
I’m saying this as a parent with limited means and who participates in a lot of buying and getting and giving online. When someone gave us a $1000 crib we were thrilled!! Then…it didn’t fit in our house well. We could have used the money, but we gave it away again because we got it via the spirit of giving and gave that same thrill to someone else. (Illustrious-Shirt569)
Agreed, also as a parent who has benefitted greatly from the generosity of neighbours and people on FB giving me free kid stuff. There’s a sense in these communities that we’re all in the trenches together of caring for young kids, we give generously because we’ve been there and we know how hard it is. Selling stuff you were gifted feels like it breaks that unspoken social contract. (PretendFact3840)
Related: Is it Wrong to Gift Somebody Something You Bought at a Secondhand Store?
People agreed that although the OP was technically right that once the items were given to her, she was the new owner of them and therefore could do as she pleased with them. But from a moral perspective people thought that she was in the wrong.
YTA
You’re technically right. The items had become yours, and you could choose what you do with them.
Being technically right doesn’t save you from a judgement of assholery.
You profited from your neighbour’s generosity. Good luck ever getting anything for free in that group again. (embopbopdoowop)
Whilst people agreed that what she had done wasn’t illegal, most thought that she’d shot herself in the foot and had made a bad name for herself in her community. It was very unlikely when word got out – which it inevitably would – that anyone would want to pass things on to her in future.
I mean, you got the items for free and you’re turning a profit from them instead of paying it forward and giving them away to someone ELSE who needs them. You climbed the ladder and then pulled it up behind yourself, for your own benefit and to the detriment of others in your community.
Is it your right as the new owner of those items? Yeah, sure.
But it’s also everyone else’s right to now refuse to give you anything else for free. (Pantherdraws)
Honestly, if I saw someone selling things I donated to make a profit, I wouldn’t donate to them again and would warn against other’s donating. If OP is fine with never getting another free thing again… But personally, I don’t think it’s worth it. Re-donate the items. Someone else could use them and OP won’t get a bad reputation or cut off her own lifeline if she needs something in the future. (blueevedwolff)
ehhhhhhhh….. I dunno. I’m gonna err on the side of YTA. Its not the greatest sin ever committed by humankind, but honestly, this is a “pass along” situation, not a “I’ll pass these cheapy things along, but sell the expensive thing” situation. You were given the stuff by the neighborhood sharing mechanism.
To be sure, the stuff, whatever it is, was “yours”. You didn’t commit any crimes by selling it. I wouldn’t say you are a “scammer”. e.g. Its not like if something broke, you’d have to pay whoever gave it to you or something. . This neighbor of yours I think is a little extreme.
However, the situation, given that you did pass along some things, it feels like you cherry picked some stuff that had some value and sold it. It was given to you freely, you should have paid it forward to the next family. (SolmaRedditUserNow)
Legally OP is correct. But morally wrong. Sure she can do whatever but that doesn’t mean she’s not an AH. In this kind of situation if you get something for free then you should also give it to someone for free as well. I don’t think it’s a “scam”, it’s more of a scalper.
It’s not like dumpster diving and reselling some good and usable stuff you found in there. (Erick_Brimstone)
Have you ever given away items only to find the recipient sold them on for profit?