Apparently Some Tooth Fairies are Leaving Crisp $50 Notes Now

As if we ever need another reason to feel inadequate as parents, it has come to light that some tooth fairies are absolutely minted, leaving $50 notes in exchange for baby teeth.

Holy shit. And we thought we were doing well by remembering to carry out the tooth fairy duty within 48 hours!! It may be time to lift our game.

According to this article over at 9Honey, there are parents out there who are leaving fresh fiffos under their child’s pillows in exchange for their baby teeth.

“A minority (of people I know, anyway) shell out $10 and $20 notes, but I’m also quite close to someone who places a crisp $50 under her daughter’s pillow every time – a figure that astounds me because I have paid less for dental work in third world countries,” author Dilvin Yasa writes.

She goes on to add that her friend’s child is losing a tooth every few weeks, adding that it is “probably because she’s pulling them out with pliers”. We would be too if it meant walking around with a pocket full of pineapples!

Did you know that $50 notes are sometimes called pineapples because of their colour? Now you do!

As Dilvin’s article goes on to mention, the problem with tooth fairies shelling out unprecedented amounts of coin is that little kids talk to each other, and are quick to realise that their own tooth fairy must either be considerably poorer or severely ripping them off.

“All it takes is for one kid to go into the playground with a thick gold chain around their neck, rapping tales about ‘da fiddy’ from the Tooth Fairy for the rest of the kids (okay, my kid in particular) to begin asking some very angry questions.”

So can we all just agree that a shiny $2 coin or two is the going rate for a baby tooth, please? And no folding money unless the tooth fairy has forgotten for three nights in a row. Deal?