When my beautiful baby boy was finally born after 10 years of infertility, I knew I wanted to give him the world, a world which like it or not, revolves around money.

Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy experiences and things that make beautiful memories, enhance the quality of life, keep us warm and safe, make us laugh till our bellies hurt, help us live aligned with our values, and spoil ourselves and those we love.

What I didn’t know was that my child would be the inspiration behind not only my financial empowerment journey but also the birth of my business and the transformation of every part of my life, from body image and weight issues, to healing PTSD and anxiety, to building my self-worth, feeling confident and taking risks.

Growing up, money was taboo and no-one talked about it. As a little girl I learnt from observing the adults that girls like me were not capable of earning well and making big financial choices. Investing and building wealth was something only the ‘dad’ figures talked about and did.

My learned money story told me I wasn’t capable of taking care of myself financially, so I needed a husband to provide that security.

I avoided anything and everything to do with money, including conversations and this became the blueprint for the choices I made and how I lived my life.

Thankfully I married a kind man who did not use money to control me. This dynamic was new and shocking for me because it was completely opposite to what I had learned growing up.

The one thing I excelled at was spending everything as soon as it came in. I was a bargain shopper of note and the local second-hand shops could have survived on the many carloads I donated.

When my child was eight, and I was healing from many dark years of infertility and post-traumatic stress after a violent hijacking, I realised I wanted my child to learn about money but knew I couldn’t teach him. My feelings of inadequacy and shame around money expanded and I dropped deeper into my learned cocoon of worthlessness.

I researched available options but found nothing that ticked my many boxes. My husband was happy to do it, but after a few months and a fair amount of seagull parenting, I decided if I wanted him to learn about money the way I envisioned, I would have to somehow be the one to do it.

The overriding factor in our financial education journey had to be fun.

I needed to find ways to keep him engaged, curious and wanting to learn more. A bit like walking my dogs in the mountains. If I didn’t keep them engaged and excited to stay by my side, they would be off chasing the many tempting scents and sounds around us.

My first formal education was enrolling in a 6-week ‘beginners’ (or so I thought) investing course. I clearly remember the butterflies and sweaty palms walking into that room, the only woman surrounded by confident young men speaking and acting in a language I did not understand. I felt completely out of my depth and almost ran straight out as the voice in my head reminded me “you’re not smart enough for this, you’re going to make a fool of yourself.”

I didn’t run; I stayed. I completed the 6-weeks, but didn’t start investing and don’t think I learnt anything, except to doubt myself a little more.

I decided to give budgeting a go but failed so many times I gave up. I forgot my son’s allowance more times than I remembered to give it to him, and he caught me on more than one occasion taking money out of his piggy bank to buy a chocolate.

Then the penny dropped – it didn’t matter how much knowledge I acquired, if I didn’t do the inner work, nothing was going to change. I had to uncover and replace the limiting beliefs I had learned as a child and replace them with facts and new supportive beliefs of growth and abundance.

And so began my financial empowerment journey alongside my financial education journey with my child.

I soon worked out I had about 30 seconds to explain a new financial concept or jargon to him before the yawn or squirm. If not, it was back to the drawing board because clearly I didn’t understand it myself. My son unknowingly became my best financial teacher and his yawns and squirms were the benchmark for how I was doing.

He became Dollar Dan and we started a YouTube channel sharing what we were learning. It was loads of fun and precious quality time together. The dogs featured in many of the videos and my husband made one or two appearances, which my son found hilarious and literally fell off his dad’s shoulders while filming ‘The Debt Monster.’ Einstein’s voice visited him from the past to talk about compound interest being the 8^th Wonder of the World and The Richest Man in Babylon arrived in a whoosh and a blur of blankets to teach him ‘to pay himself first’ and how to put his dollars to work. Inbetwen the video bloopers and the laughing, we learnt a lot.

We went on what I called Financial Field Trips taking our learning out into real life. The most memorable trip was walking around our neighbourhood discussing wealth, mortgages, assets, liabilities, the hidden costs of owning a home, car loans, renting and what made someone rich. At McDonalds we created a business plan for the franchise he was going to buy when he ‘was rich.’

A highlight for me was when he was about 12. I was trying to explain the importance of thinking with a growth and abundance mindset when he turned to me and said “Mum, that’s how I think. Don’t you?” I’m not usually at a loss for words, but in that moment all I could do was hug him. It was clear that he had not inherited the limiting way of thinking I learnt as a child, but rather the thinking I was working to adopt.

Another highlight was when he was 16 and I got a text from him asking for his investing portfolio login details. Up until that point he hadn’t shown much interest so I was delighted. I asked why he wanted them and he casually texted that he and his mates were discussing their share portfolios. My happy dance would have made him cringe but the dogs sure enjoyed it.

At 49 I made my first investment, my son at nine.

Although a simple thing to do, for me it was an act of empowerment and celebration as I felt I was becoming the financial role model I aspired to be. Instead of running away from conversations about money, I initiated them. I qualified as a CFEI (Certified Financial Education Instructor) and Financial Empowerment Coach for Women, officially became a business owner, and started helping other mothers teach their children about money.

These steps will help you get started:

• Treat yourself with the grace and respect you deserve – know you are not responsible for what you learnt about money as a child but you can choose what you learn and do from now.
• Learn everything you can about money – something I did when I started out was to read minimally one article per day and look up at least three words or concepts per article I didn’t understand.
• Uncover and replace your limiting beliefs – identify the belief and challenge it by asking yourself if it is a fact or somebody else’s belief or experience. Find evidence to support your new empowering belief and let go of guilt.
• Start investing as soon as you possibly can – don’t let stories or myths block you or your children building wealth. Fact-check your beliefs and the stories you tell yourself.
• Know you are your child’s best financial role model – learn alongside them and have fun.

Here’s what I now know – every mother is capable of teaching her child how to be an excellent money manager and how to invest and build wealth for themselves. My journey began with fear and doubt but turned into one of joy, learning and a great sense of freedom.

We have within us the power to break generational cycles and heal money wounds, creating a legacy of abundance for our families.

Being good with money is a mindset and a set of habits we can all learn and teach.

To end, one of my favourite sayings – you may not have come from a wealthy family but a wealthy family can come from you.

Laurel Makowem, CFEI (Certified Financial Education Instructor) and Financial Empowerment Coach for Women has been empowering mothers and their children for over ten years through Mothers Teaching Money, a platform providing fun and holistic financial education through activity books, eBooks, workshops and a dedicated course for mothers to learn how to invest for their children.

Laurel believes money is about more than just numbers, it’s about rewriting the money narrative for women, breaking generational cycles and healing money wounds so every mother, regardless of her own financial situation and/or financial upbringing, believes deeply she is capable of raising her own children to be wealthy adults, who earn well, invest, and live their lives on their terms, and with choices.

She has also developed a Financial Empowerment Pathway for teen girls and young women, to help close the many financial gaps existing for women. She is currently writing a book and creating a beautiful journal in collaboration with a designer, to further inspire them to put themselves front and centre of their journey to achieving financial freedom.