Written by Jacqui Stewart

Parenting is no walk in the park. Parenting as a single mum with ADHD and autism? That’s an entirely different level of chaos. Between managing the house, working a demanding job, and raising two kids with 100% care, I often found myself overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that needed to be done. But nothing seemed more insurmountable than the daily grind of housework—especially when my executive dysfunction kicked in.

For those unfamiliar, executive dysfunction is when your brain refuses to initiate tasks, no matter how much you know they need to be done. The dishes, the laundry, the endless tidying up—it all loomed over me like an impossible mountain. And because I was the only adult in the house, there was no one else to do it. So, I did what any logical person would do: I danced my way through it.

One evening, when I was utterly drained but still had a sink full of dishes to tackle, I put on some music and started bopping around while scrubbing plates. On a whim, I propped up my phone and hit record, lip syncing to my music. When I played it back, something clicked. Instead of seeing myself as an exhausted, struggling mum, I saw someone joyful, playful, and actually having fun.

It was an eye-opening moment. What if I could make all my mundane tasks feel like this? What if, instead of pushing myself through housework with guilt, frustration, and decent chunk of rage, I could reframe it as something energizing, creative, and even empowering?

So, I kept doing it. Every other day, I filmed myself dancing while washing dishes. And, slowly, a shift happened. The tasks that once felt like insurmountable obstacles became a source of movement, music, and dopamine—something that naturally helps ADHD brains function better. It wasn’t just about housework anymore; it was about changing my relationship with productivity and learning to work with my brain instead of against it.

The biggest surprise? Watching myself dance around my kitchen completely transformed my body confidence. For years, I had struggled with the disconnect between how I felt and how I saw myself, I’d also had two kids and was wistful of the body I used to have years ago. I had internalised the idea that I was always too much or not enough—too unorganised, too chaotic, too behind on everything, or, when in survival mode, too rigid to a point of frozen, incapable of making even the smallest decision. But when I watched the videos, I didn’t see failure. I saw someone strong, happy, and completely capable.

For the first time in a long time, I saw myself as a woman who was not just surviving, but having fun and thriving.

This shift in mindset didn’t just change how I approached chores—it changed how I parented my kids. I realized that if autonomy, dopamine and self-motivation worked for me, why wouldn’t they work for them too?

I started running our home the way I would manage a team at work. Instead of attempting to demand compliance through an authoritarian parenting style, I created an environment where my kids felt ownership over their responsibilities. We held regular family meetings, where we talked about what was working and what wasn’t. Instead of imposing strict rules, we collaborated to create household expectations together. My kids got to set independent and collective goals, learning that their contributions mattered not just to me but to our household as a whole. Everyone, including me, was held accountable, but in a way that encouraged problem-solving rather than punishment.

Giving my kids a sense of autonomy not only built their confidence but also helped them develop life skills that many adults struggle with—from emotional regulation to teamwork. And, let’s be honest, it also meant I didn’t have to remind them 500 times to pick up their socks!

At the core of all of this is one powerful realisation: Sometimes, the best way to overcome overwhelm, build confidence, and create a functioning home isn’t through rigid discipline—but through joy, movement, and shared responsibility.

So to any other mums out there struggling with executive dysfunction, burnout, or just feeling stuck in survival mode: I see you. And I promise, small, joyful shifts can create real change. Whether it’s turning dish duty into a dance party or involving your kids in decision-making, sometimes the key to thriving isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing things differently.

And if that means filming yourself dancing in the kitchen? Even better.

Follow my journey on Instagram: @quelinegueye to see how I continue to embrace neurodivergence, parenting, and joyful living every day.

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